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Open Poetry #46
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Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903


0 posted 2010-11-05 09:44 AM



Driftwood gleamed from his varnish
Hand polished
To perfection
However her reputation held its tarnish

He continued his perfectionist whittling
Still chipping away
At her flaws
She began to find it belittling

She was giving herself away
Bit by bits
In shavings and dust
Finding his love a high price to pay

Driftwood on the rocks once again
Between them
And hard places
Keeping herself intact without losing him

She went to the bar for a drink
Of I told you so
On the house
From Iambe to help her think

© Copyright 2010 Eusta B. Mae - All Rights Reserved
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
1 posted 2010-11-05 09:52 AM


ebm, I`m either too thick to understand the series, or it`s an in-thing, but I have to say this one really touches me... there is a poem within a poem here, even w/o the fine storyline, one that speaks to many, I`m sure, on the pieces of ourselves we give away or let be chiseled in increments, losing our soul~  fantastic writing!
.
Best~
Amaryllis

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
2 posted 2010-11-05 09:57 AM


Ouch! This is so . . . er . . . right-on, Amaryllis. You have mastered the moments of allowing a spouse to make disappear the person they were into something that, even after she has allowed him to disrobe her, metaphorically, he will not like what he has made.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

3 posted 2010-11-05 10:02 AM


Amaryllis-You got it alright. Thanks for letting me know...No you are not too thick, this is my first series and I may not be writing well enough that each chapter can stand alone and make sense without the others for perspective. The Iambe character was an inside thing that I was given by Cpat to carry on...

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

4 posted 2010-11-05 10:06 AM


JerryPat-thanks for letting me know I hit my target. ebm
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
5 posted 2010-11-05 11:01 AM


Thanks for enlightening me, ebm!      I meant no offense, merely stating my truth... in fact your writing impresses me much.  I... know this one... too well.  Very well said, well put into words.
.
All my best~
Amaryllis

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2010-11-06 07:05 PM


nicely done ma'am...
your Driftwood gets written in an interesting style, and the blending of the characters adds a dimension to Iambe that she didn't have before.

I can't wait to see where you take these two....



Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

7 posted 2010-11-08 08:07 AM


Cpat- thanks for your continuing support and interest in "the girls", helps keep me going. ebm
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2010-11-09 12:28 PM


quote:
He continued his perfectionist whittling
Still chipping away
At her flaws
She began to find it belittling

She was giving herself away
Bit by bits
In shavings and dust
Finding his love a high price to pay



very telling...
good stories here...

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

9 posted 2010-11-09 12:46 PM


Sunshine- Thank you my friend. Hugs!
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