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Open Poetry #46
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Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2010-10-28 02:21 PM



Tuck the wallet, keys, the badge
into pockets, throw the pill
down with coffee, black-
as I assemble smoked ham on rye,
hands in sure habit of this,
how many mornings, now?
Our voices low, in the dim kitchen.
.
Now the handoff, at the chill-breathed door-
your lunch, your kiss, your excalibur-
as the eggs dry hardened in the pan.

© Copyright 2010 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-10-28 02:25 PM


you paint this well with many underlying nuances one can take to build their own story line....

I'm always thankful there are those willing to go slay dragons or tilt at windmills. We would be lost without them.

nicely done ma'am, and I am sure the smoked ham reminded him of home and what waited for him when he returned

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2010-10-28 02:42 PM


Thank you, Cpat... yes, I am continually impressed by the `small` victories- the heroics it takes to get up every day and slay a dragon that never quite dies... that is true courage, and devotion.   I am thankful, too!
Best~
Amaryllis

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
3 posted 2010-10-28 04:08 PM


Very well written. Wan, spare, and a perfect fit to the scene.

Reminds me of how long it's been since I have had rye bread to taste or a good sword in hand, or a kiss---a promise of worthwhile new life---no matter how ritualistically applied.

Welcome back, Amaryllis.

Gunslinger
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 901
TX, USA
4 posted 2010-10-28 05:45 PM


Aye, lassie, there are dragons to be slain, whether two legged or four. Excellent piece.
Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
5 posted 2010-10-28 08:43 PM


very fine images here. Loved it.

Zeitgeist

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2010-10-28 08:46 PM


I was wondering where you went, so glad to see your back.

You do those slices of life so well.  

Good job, A~

Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

7 posted 2010-10-29 02:22 AM


What a wonderful modern tableau! So happy to read your polished style again. Î'm looking forward to more.
Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
8 posted 2010-10-29 06:32 AM


Fine writing.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

9 posted 2010-10-29 08:16 AM


Good capture! Impressive style. enjoyed it much! ebm
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
10 posted 2010-10-29 09:43 AM


Many thanks to all above! It means a lot~ and thanks, Bluesy, easy, and Bastet for the `welcome back`... it`s so wonderful to be able to write again, and also to enjoy the works of fellow writers.  
Best to all~
Amaryllis

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
11 posted 2010-10-29 11:25 AM


Amary..a cop on pills?  now that is a dragon..(lol) We are not allowed to slay them (dragons) in California..they are some new minority class so we have to support them and name streets and schools after them.

enjoyed and am glad to see you back

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
12 posted 2010-10-29 11:34 AM


Lol mr. Dark~! Thanks... and no, maybe not a cop, but other professions require a badge, also     However, your spin would have made it more interesting!  Like that.
As to Dragons... well, I suppose soon the EPA and others will declare them a protected species... and hubbins shall have to sedate them, not slay...lol!  
Best to ya~
Amaryllis

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
13 posted 2010-11-17 10:33 PM


I love your poetry, Amaryllis.  Thank you for sharing the slices of you.

Alison

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
14 posted 2010-11-17 11:03 PM


You are excellent at subtle nuances, Amaryllis, and this is one of your best, at least that I have read. Understatement personified.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
15 posted 2010-11-18 11:09 PM


A picture perfect snap-shot of that rushed morn. Though the picture may be worth a thousand words, you painted the scene with so much less. That's talent!

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
16 posted 2010-11-22 05:31 AM


Saw this on Facebook the other day and I think it goes quite well with your Dragon poem . . .

PLEASE put this as your status if you know someone who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable, if case you didn't know it they can totally breathe fire. 60% of people won't copy and paste because they have already been eaten by dragons. 38% of people are sitting in showers armed with fire extinguishers. The remaining 2% are awesome and will repost this. Spread dragon watch for the grandchildren

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
17 posted 2010-11-22 09:48 AM


,thanks Jerry~!   And it neglected to say 100% need an excalibur... which my husband currently owns!  Lol     gotcha
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
18 posted 2010-11-22 09:54 AM


Thanks, Alison~  I adore your own talent... (was just fishing through the workshop, saw more of your pen           I sure appreciate your comments and support~!
.

Thanks, Andrew! That means a lot,.. brevity is what I (typically) strive for  

My best~
Amaryllis

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