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Open Poetry #46
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The Next Day
| Open Poetry #46 |
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The Next Day |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
She parked her truck alongside The battered old car In Joe’s parking lot She got out and lifted the hood And replaced the spark plug wire She’d pulled the night before And waited for Driftwood While she waited Her thoughts returned To the stop she made On her way home last night A smile stole across her face As she remembered how her truck Just seemed to take her there They had been too good together Perfect in fact… They’d been together often enough To know how to do everything right And when they were spent He just held her, they didn’t talk Then he let her go without a fight She wondered then about Driftwood And her new man Carpenter She wanted to know what All this lovey dovey stuff She saw last night was all about She’d known driftwood too long Too believe it even possible Just then Driftwood and Carpenter Pulled up in his convertible She cussed a blue streak under her breath She had wanted to talk to Driftwood alone But she could tell by the way Those two were entangled together Chit chat was the last thing on Driftwood’s mind Driftwood untangled herself from Carpenter And got out of the car with a gratuitous show And kissed him as if he was leaving forever She forced a smile, trying not to gag As Driftwood came up to her “All fixed, no charge.” She said Driftwood just smiled and winked and was gone |
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| © Copyright 2010 Eusta B. Mae - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ebm...this story style is different on you...enjoyable and fits like a long gown...your poetic voice seems more quiet too...perhaps you are on stairs stepping over sensations and walking toward the mirrors. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Thanks for your eyes and one of a kind words here, much appreciated. ebm |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah~~ so you have continued and left the meeting somewhat un-satisfying for Iambe... what I don't yet understand is why Iambe cares so much what Driftwood does or who she is with. just remember there are always threads... and to use them to tie your story line up tightly. If the two women are going for the same guy, then you sort of understand...if they aren't then there is a reason Iambe bothers herself with what it going on. She never was one for wasting her time or thoughts on people she didn't have a connection with.. (chuckling) you're weaving a fine story...and I am anxious to see where you go next with the characters. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Driftwood and Iambe have alot in common...until now..Driftwood broke the unwritten code of love...Iambe is not interested in Carpenter, she only has feelings for one man and she doesn't even want to acknowlege that...so Driftwood's relationship with Carpenter is making it hard for Iambe not to feel things she can't admit to. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) OK... you knew that, now write it so that your readers understand it and it is part of the story.... nice chance for an introspection piece and one that reveals something of Iambe as well as something of how Driftwood is seen through her eyes... |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I love this and need to look for more! A |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I'm new here, but the comments are getting almost, if not as, interesting as the story is. Carry on. Carry on. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Alison and Jerry- I'll do my best to keep it going, thanks for checking it out!ebm |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
I enjoyed reading this one, very interesting. It's been a long time since I last came here to read, and to share my writing, I'm happy to see this is still the wonderfull place that was some time ago!. Thank you very much for sharing!. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
DreamerSpirit-Thanks for checking me out and I'm glad you liked this piece, Joe's is the piece before this one. And Driftwood has a series of her own if you are interested.  ebm |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Very interesting write,Ebm. Here the ending is a beginning, leaving more scope to write more. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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