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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2010-10-05 06:54 AM

she was a tall tree shadow on morning sand
walking her thoughts like children to school
in the sturdy one room of old brown boards
where castles would still appear during storms

her fingers knew of the earthly warm places
down by the bog where secrets sunk under
and were only left in memories or god books
even in the drought times, they were ghostly

she read ruckle skin books by candle lantern
and rocked her body to the creaking board songs
pretended she was the old woman in the shoe
and that the fireflys came from her womb well

back when the men all carried thirsty buckets

________________

daark

Capricious
Member

since 2002-09-14

Posts 89
California, USA

1 posted 2010-10-05 07:34 AM

This has the feel of something private and primal ...

I would have hyphenated god-books. Otherwise, it's perfect.

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member

since 2010-05-03

Posts 903

2 posted 2010-10-05 08:20 AM

...pretended she was the old woman in the shoe and that the fireflys came from her womb...

Kewel image! Good stuff D! ebm

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2010-10-05 11:16 AM

thanks for the read cap...and I never really worry about perfect

_____________

ms ebm, thanks lady for the eyes here

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

4 posted 2010-10-05 11:21 AM

loved this from start to finish. You weave words so beautifully.

Always a pleasure!

~Sunkissed

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2010-10-05 11:37 AM

ms sunkiss...thanks lady friend for the reviews.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2010-10-06 09:15 PM

where castles would still appear during storms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That is a great line DS, because you know it still happens.
Like today, it was a nice little storm we had don't you think?

Always love your work and my interpretations. Mostly~ *hugs*

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

7 posted 2010-10-07 06:50 AM

babyblue..

thanks babe...yes it was fun to see the rain and imagine what was behind the clouds..I waved but you were singing and didn't see me..

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