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Open Poetry #46
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Ars Poetica: 2 poems
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Ars Poetica: 2 poems |
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Bastet Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246 |
UNTITLED 3 I remember my presence in those persimmon sun-downs, the honey-warm fragrance still rich in the quiet air, the sky’s blood spilled across the hour, the cotton tree still in full flower, fluffed like a split feather bed and nature, her enfeebled lover who plants so many seeds for so few trees. The blossoms drift and mingle over the pumpkin pond. The gypsy moon highlights my unspoken thoughts, the seeds of many half-planned poems. Now they’re dried leaves pressed between the pages of old volumes. When the next generation opens the book, my fragile words will crumble and perhaps new patterns will be formed. POSSIBILITIES Light beads speckle the floor, a necklace of pearls scattered by last night’s dream, a new day of possibilities. The morning is soft and easy. On the wind’s song, lazy thought clouds take form. If rainbow asks to make a note, I embrace her sharing, for color rising on a sunbeam becomes that occasional verse. I caught her yesterday, but they’re so fragile, these creatures. She died in seconds in my mind’s eye, needing a more subtle light. All those netted inspirations, when the day is done, lie collapsed on the damp earth. Never mind, tomorrow before dawn, I’ll go star-searching again. |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Beautiful! The rich images and soft texture of the poem are a great read! ebm |
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Capricious Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 89California, USA |
Both a delight to read! Calling nature an 'enfeebled lover' was a bit unorthodox but strangely satisfying ... surely even nature must have her off days. I must admit you lost me a bit on the last two lines of the untitled one. I don't think you meant it to end on a sad note, but after such rich imagery it was a bit disappointing to think of your lovely words crumbling to dust!  As for your second offering, I sympathize completely. Sometimes the most sublime bits of inspiration take a great and capricious delight in defying all attempts at penning them. I believe it is the mark of a good author that you don't waste these gems on inferior settings. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wonderful penning, my friend. No problems here with the untitled one's last two lines...they perfectly ended the piece...and the second one, almost as good as the first...and I saw "enfeebled" referring to the Cotton Tree, not Nature...but the sentence structure there is a little misleading if I'm correct in my seeing. Maybe something similar to "...the cotton tree still in full flower fluffed like a split feather bed, the enfeebled lover, who plants so many seeds for so few trees, of Nature" All in all, Very well done... j. |
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Excellent work... excellent works. A joy to read!  Lots of seeds and relatively few maturing organisms is Nature's way for almost all "higher" biological life here, plant or animal. "Enfeebled" is an interesting word for this, and a memorable one. Encore! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
There is much beauty in your work, both of your poems are absolutely delightful. Gorgeous poetry~~ |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Some fine writing here... I particularly enjoyed the first one. Perfect for the season. Thanks for sharing. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
poem 1: i like how you connect the nature imagery with the art of writing. why haven't you named it yet? poem 2: i like the line breaks in the third stanza, particularly the first and second ones. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
These are exquisite, Bastet.. you have such a gift Best~ Amaryllis |
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