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Open Poetry #46
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2010-09-26 06:58 PM



She was like a rain tipped winter
That didnÕt stall between
The hearts of the men that fluttered and floundered
That split the cake between their hands,
That felt their hearts, like a slow moving train stopping along the silky tracks.

Her wet, damp shoes were just enough of a sign
That she needed a brand new, red glossy heel.
So she waited for the soft cello
Of the breeze to make her hair
Move in such a way,
In such a cold heat of night
That the men would have no fear
Would have no reason but to stop

To find her,
For what there was to be seen
Was a small strapless foot, waiting for red to reconvene.

© Copyright 2010 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-09-26 08:32 PM


much I like about this, though I don't presume to fully understand it...
which is a good thing when it comes to poetry in many ways, for it lets the reader draw what they will...

enjoyed

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
2 posted 2010-09-26 11:10 PM


How many lyrics have been penned after disappointing encounters with such women (and nowadays more men, also)! Your poem ranks high among them, I would guess. It is quite well composed.

Enjoyed the first and last lines the most here, I think. Even that in itself has the ring of the poet's experience to it.

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
3 posted 2010-10-03 02:27 PM


Thanks Cpat and Easy..

Yes, Easy, much can be written about encounters with people.  The good and the bad, and hopefully the good outweighs the bad.  

Cheers

Tomer

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2010-10-03 09:21 PM


Enjoyed...James
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2010-10-04 08:15 PM


Thanks, James.  Take care

Cheers

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