navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » simply insignificant
Open Poetry #46
Post A Reply Post New Topic simply insignificant Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2010-08-25 07:08 PM


A survey of her wardrobe tells stories of the masquerade:
simply insignificant, like stones upon the grave.

Fringe would be ridiculous, and sequins inappropriate
her favorite jeans are dated now, the houndstooth? Too collegiate.
That little summer sailor dress is too sad to donate;
she keeps it in her closet just because she loved that day.

The lycra's too revealing now, the silk is water-stained.
Black lace is torn too intimate, she throws that blouse away.
She drops the towel to the floor and then shrugs on her robe.
A quick glance in the mirror slapped the sass off her ego:

It's much too late to go out now--besides, where would she go?
She sits before the vanity where her former friends turned foe.
Posturing to find her light, she slathers on the cream,
swallows zanax with merlot, she prays that she will sleep.

She triples up the dosages and grins with purple teeth;
two pills, four pills, six pills, eight--to silence memory.
Yes, she wants to sleep tonight but she does not wish to dream.
She's naked undercover flipping through her fantasies--

weary of redundancy, she falls asleep that way.
Simply insignificant, like stones upon the grave.




© Copyright 2010 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

1 posted 2010-08-25 07:17 PM


There's nothing insignificant about this poem. Truly well written.

Enjoyed reading!

~Sunkissed

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2010-08-25 07:19 PM


Impressive as all of your works, dear Karen!

Let me say that you have written a highly significant poem!

Sometimes we can't bear the changes, not trusting the power of life to gift us constantly with new enthusiasm.

Rather cynical ... I think you should go and buy a little something new that will lift you out of the need to wish for dreamless sleep ... I know though that it is not that simple. But a reaction is a reaction ... to start with.

Incredibly vivid and poignant too.

Love,
Margherita

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2010-08-25 07:27 PM


Karen

Your closet is full of words that cut into the fabric that are made from feelings.  Hugging you in that mirror.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2010-08-25 07:29 PM


I have decided that I need to learn how to make rag rugs.

Much love to you all...

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
5 posted 2010-08-25 07:30 PM


Karen, I loved the poem, but am laughing fit to burst at the idea of you being INSIGNIFICANT!!!  

There are a lot of wonderful and also weird-wonderful ways to describe you - but INSIGNIFICANT???  I know you are talking about your clothes - but there are no clothes that would make you even LOOK insignificant!!!

I know you will know, but just to make double sure, I just want to assure you that all of the above is highly complimentary.

Owl

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
6 posted 2010-08-25 07:39 PM


So fringe can be sublime, too, huh!

It's sad, and the subject might be called mundane, but this is a darn good write. I hope the protagonist can lay off the pills for awhile.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2010-08-25 07:42 PM


*smile*

I posted this in another forum and just confessed over there that I hated this before I posted it.

The clothes are just my metaphors--there's nothing that I was that seems to fit how I feel now, yanno?

Lawsy, I feel like I'm auditioning for a spot on The View! It's lovely to see you again, Diana.

This poem tries too hard. Just like...me?


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2010-08-25 07:43 PM


oh my...easy? I thank you. I think next time I dress to go out, though, I should know where I'm going. *laughing*

Thanks, you.

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
9 posted 2010-08-25 08:28 PM


Oh my.. such powerful writing, as per usual.. I think this poem wants to be answered by Kim Addonizio`s `What Do Women Want?`...  kudos to you for your willingness to write what the heart brings. Wonderful.
Best~Amaryllis

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2010-08-25 10:31 PM


Knowing of your metaphorical
and all of its greater glances
I know you rose above the norm
and took in all your chances...

for here you are, looking at me
and telling me you're clear
of woebegones and get-alongs
and sleep might nigh be near

and yeah I see you scowling at me
and that's quite okay, my friend
for I've some matters terminal -
you're here to see me round the bend.



Now, hush, hugs, and sleep. Mama says.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2010-08-26 04:36 AM


silencing memory...

hmmm, what a concept


Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
12 posted 2010-08-26 07:10 AM


serenity,
"slapped the sass off her ego". What a wonderfully constructed phrase (as is the poem). Reality may bite, but at least it keeps most of us grounded in humility, working with what we've been dealt, allows us to fly.
Doc

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2010-08-26 06:05 PM


Thank you all so very much for reading.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
14 posted 2010-08-26 08:53 PM


darn! sometimes I feel you write portions of my life~~

thinking of you on this the 5th anniversary


M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2010-08-26 09:20 PM


mo? It's kind of a big deal here, but I just wanted to let you know that I am here thinking of all of you with much gratitude.

And hugs to you all. I am...well?

I am, because you all ARE incredibly generous and gracious and kind.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
16 posted 2010-08-26 10:04 PM


Always have to throw out the old to make way for the new but that doesn't make the old insignificant - useless perhaps in the present but the process towards change can never be insignificant.  It leads us where we have to be even if the reason for having to be there eludes us.  Great write in true master style!

Helen

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
17 posted 2010-08-27 02:29 AM


I have some of those "clothes" hanging in my closet too but haven't been able to fashion them into anything nearly as wonderful as this.
                                Ida

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
18 posted 2010-09-07 09:44 AM


Oh, hon. I know what's missing! Shoes!!!

be they combats, stilettos, platforms, goddess sandals, Keds, flip flops, hiking boots, pink marabous heels, etc..

That's the only thing I could possibly find missing from this delicate but powerful female write. I think we all wear similar feelings at some point along our way. Maybe that's why most are so sisterly prone to open our closets up to those who are close to us.

Thanks for opening one from your heart for us, too
  



Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

19 posted 2010-09-07 09:50 AM


serenity blaze- I loved this! Hit me where I live- It hurt so good. ouch. ebm

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
20 posted 2010-09-08 12:50 PM


Love your 'rye' sense of hoomah!
Aha, so you're not the only one whose "former friends turned foe" as you sit before the vanity!

The time-honoured question ~ "Oh, what to wear! What to wear!" Of course that follows the other time-honoured questions ~ "Oh, where to go?" and "What to do?"

No one could say to you, dear Karen, ~ "Get real!" ~ 'Cause you, girlfriend, are as real as real gets!

Love 'n hugs,
Linda

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
21 posted 2010-09-24 10:16 PM


"...just my metaphors..."

I like that concept, somewhat like "oh excuse me, my awareness was showing; so sorry!"

...and this from my own playbook:


"Yes, she wants to sleep tonight but she does not wish to dream."

I came home today wearing this ache, of course for my own reasons, and have yet to get the dose right...one can only hope.

...and yet Mabon's special moon pulls at me in this unseasonable heat...and refuses to negotiate.

Peace be unto you Child.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
22 posted 2010-09-26 09:39 PM


" I think next time I dress to go out, though, I should know where I'm going."

now this my darling IS poetry

i would even like to steal it to put it on my facebook page

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
23 posted 2010-09-27 03:54 AM


doggone elderberry wine makes teeth purple every time

(that's the only reason I don't drink it)


Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2010-09-27 04:06 PM


I am glad I came here today.  K, there so many lines in this I can identify with, and this one in particular hit home:

"A quick glance in the mirror slapped the sass off her ego,

For sure, this one: She sits before the vanity where her former friends turned foe.

Time has a way of changing us and eventually when we actually see who we have become, the image SUCKS doesn't it!  Where do we go over time?  Guess, we have to just adjust to the new image?



Words are weapons, toss them with care.
~ Mysteria ~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

25 posted 2010-09-28 02:15 PM


(chuckling)  It's a bear when none of the thoughts we try on fit anymore... none of the "I's" we were are in style....

redundancy and insignificance seem to go hand to mouth most of the time as they are poorly paid but in the circles that they run in, they always seem to find center stage....  

now... your metaphors are fine, and whether you liked it or not you left those who read a good deal to ponder and match to their own thoughts/life. Regina... would add shoes, which is apprapo.... for none of us want to get our clay feet wet...

always a pleasure to read... no savor... your offerings ma'am...  

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

26 posted 2010-09-28 07:12 PM


I peek in from time to time...

This has been such a refuge for this refugee spirit of mine, so I do want to express my appreciation. I am just taking a little break (or more like giving you guys one)

I'm tired, and I'm afraid I don't have a lot to add to that.

I still don't like my poetry--I consider it juvenile, and looking at it is like looking at scars of self abuse. I'm afraid I don't read much anymore, nor do I write much.

But I want you all to know, that no matter how bad I think this crap is, every word was worth it because I got to know the beautiful souls of you all.

I love ya'll yanno.

I do.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

27 posted 2010-09-29 07:46 AM


hmmmm....
  I know well the feeling of not liking what you write, for I suffer the same sorts of thoughts about my own. I also understand about not reading or writing much.....for I have gone through my own periods of withdrawel from the writing or reading...
So, I'll ask you to take care of you... and just know that from my stand point anyway, the things you've shared here, regardless of the places that they come from, have been aningful and have made a difference, not only in how I might try to write, but also inside..

be well my friend...

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
28 posted 2010-09-29 10:07 PM




It is our weight to carry that poetry always is self abuse.

Get over it.
In sharing you help all...even you.

*kiss*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

29 posted 2010-09-29 10:21 PM


I love you, very much.

And remember what I told you about that whiplash thing? (You know I had to test my theory.)

I was right.

There's a lot of things I'll never be able to do again. Screaming is on the list, too.

Gonna have to find another way to rage...

*laughing*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

30 posted 2010-09-29 10:24 PM


And? This...



is totally out of the question.

*chuckle*

so is this--

and?

One can dream, though. But not in front of the kids. *wink*

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
31 posted 2010-10-01 09:35 AM


A very well penned piece of poetry.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
32 posted 2010-10-01 10:06 AM


Arguing with you, I am...
this is far from "juvenile."

Now if you said this is "honest"
well then, I would have to agree
with that!

And of course, that is your success
as a poet,
and our delight, as readers.


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

33 posted 2010-10-01 09:11 PM


hey there chickie, good to see you and read you again....loved this and your mind...if we don't change, evolve, we actually stagnate our very own destiny...our purpose...dear sweet lady, outstanding write.

Luv ya
Lee J.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » simply insignificant

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary