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Open Poetry #46
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Sunshine
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Listening to every heart

0 posted 2010-08-10 01:48 PM





I cannot write a poem
today
as outside tragedies surmount my
frayed
edges that seem too sensitive
to light, and peace of happiness
gives.

I cannot write today,
too heavy the truth, its
weightless words
laying down stone-cold rocks
that cause to pause,
no longer the term “cancer”
whispered.

I hear it is because I’m old
that I hear more of it
as it backgrounds lives, covering skins
I cherish.

Were I a child
would I be given alternate views
to concern myself with,
like rainbows after showers?
Or a chance to peer upon a butterfly’s
vacant cocoon?
Maybe hold an empty blue egg
after the robin escapes?

Would I realize, were I a child
the massive effort just to be
takes its toll –
that energy, perseverance, all of any
life in its beginning has
its own personal natural end?

So why is it,
I stamp about in muttering,
questioning mode,
are we angered by a sudden
life’s sentence without a
requisite exclamation point
of outrage?


Or, my brain ponders,
is it that anger takes
too much energy, making it
impossible to
write a poem today
because
you, and she, and he
and family
and spouse are
my outside tragedies,

mine but not mine,
all surmounting my frayed edges

and a sense of hopelessness
pervades
that I won’t be able
to comfort you
or you or you
sufficiently, with love,

and we are having to settle
uncomfortably
in that knowledge

and yes, I know
we will all find our
own endings because
all becomes a
natural life to its very end.

Exclamation Point.

© KRJ 8-10-10


© Copyright 2010 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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1 posted 2010-08-10 02:09 PM


Well ma'am... you wrote a peom...and you wrote heart..you wrote the love and care..and how the harm that comes to those around takes its toll...
even on those who watch and only want to help...

this is one i am sure a good many can relate to and feel the heart..within, from their own experiences

my best ma'am.... I am not a child...
and look at this and see the struggles that lie, within...day in, day out..

god bless... all of yours, and you.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2010-08-10 02:25 PM


Hi Sunshine, thanks for the sensitive poem, Alas everyone can relate to that tragedy and your warm words give solace to those who think about...Thanls for the beautiful and sincere emotion of your poem...

regards

yann

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
3 posted 2010-08-10 02:43 PM


Gentle men,

you bless me. In so many ways. Thank you, sincerely.


Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
4 posted 2010-08-10 04:23 PM


Ohh this is so genuine.. I have felt this, also, and yes! The anger is a force! Perhaps overshadowing our muse,..although.. you say you cannot write today, but I disagree.. this is a beautiful piece of writing, Sunshine.. I especially was touched by the longing for childish comforts.. for someone else to come distract us, take us out of the wrenching moment, if even for a short while..
My heart goes out to you.
all best to you and yours~Amaryllis

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2010-08-10 06:16 PM


Dear Sissie...Your heart is showing.  Hugging you!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2010-08-10 11:07 PM


There is a lot of truth and heartache in your poem.
You draw on such deep emotion that isn't always easy to acknowledge.  

But I think your ending says it all, and so
perfectly.  

Hugs~

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2010-08-11 12:45 PM


Sigh babe...been going on three years since I lost my sister to that awful word. This cut and cut deep...and yes its hard to write, hard to think, hard to get past the anger.
Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
8 posted 2010-08-11 11:27 AM


I understand.
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2010-08-11 12:35 PM




Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
10 posted 2010-08-11 03:18 PM


A most touching write, Karilea.  

Helen  

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
11 posted 2010-08-11 04:21 PM


perhaps it helps us appreciate the good times we had with them..and put more distance to the bad times..as if that word is a machine to undo all the done we have known.  slow gentle embrace lady!!
katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
12 posted 2010-08-12 12:18 PM


I understand, I've felt this way too.
Very moving.
Kat >^..^<

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
13 posted 2010-08-12 12:36 PM


Sunshine - very sensitively written...

BC

latearrival
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since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
14 posted 2010-08-12 12:53 PM


Understanding this

thank you,latearrival  

Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
15 posted 2010-08-14 05:20 AM


This speaks to me very deeply, as I can relate, dear Karilea. But we are not meant to be burdened with the immensity of pain that afflicts our lives, we are meant to love and hold each other in such moments, by rowing energically through the darkness, showing and following the small spot of light at its end ... we all oscillate between light and darkness, wrapped in the deep mystery of existence. Love has the power to smooth the rough edges, always.

... and you have enough love and beauty that regenerates itself whenever you diffuse it ...

Intense!

Love,
Margherita

Nocturnal Pulse
Member
since 2010-08-12
Posts 84
Australia
16 posted 2010-08-14 10:26 AM


This is poetry at it's finest.
Sensitive write.

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
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USA
17 posted 2010-08-14 10:41 AM


enjoyed
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
18 posted 2010-08-17 12:42 PM




ahhhhhh Karilea, it's all been said
and I can only feel.



Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
19 posted 2010-08-18 12:38 PM


As Lady said before me, all has been said.  Very beautiful writing.  Very beautiful.  Thank you for sharing.
LR
New Member
since 2010-08-18
Posts 4
United Kingdom
20 posted 2010-08-18 07:00 PM


Hi Im new to the forum but if this is a sample of the work I will read then I am awe struck already.
Sunshine this touched me so much. Heartfelt , its a fantastic write with depth and truth oozing out.
I love that its not over sentimental yet the love pours out of every line with a raw emotion wrapped in dignity .
Thank you for sharing.

Kind Regards
L.R.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
21 posted 2010-08-18 07:49 PM


Amaryllis, it is indeed genuine. I hardly ever allow myself to delve into anger pieces, yet this had to evolve. I appreciate all of your comment...it means much to me. Thank you.

Martie...you are the heart that showed me how to be more...hugging you, Sis...

Bluesie...no, deep is never easy...I didn't know I had it in me to share...thank you...

Paula...I knew this would bring up some cruddie stuff for others, but yet you read, and commented...it doesn't get better than that type of understanding....

Eldest...yes, thank you very much!

PS...Blank is good. Another symbol for being overwhelmed.

Helen...bless your eyes. Thank you.

DS...Funny, how this "stuff" affects us; some in the greatest of ways; and then the ways that divide all. I can never think of cancer without thinking of Donne. This particular blight has been upon our world since Pandora, or before...we just always before listed natural causes... and I welcome the gentle from you...thank you.

Kat...thank you for sharing your common moment with me...it means more than you might realize.

Bill...there was no other way to write it. Thank you.

Late...of course! Who else but you?

Margherita...without this particular moment, my dear friend, I could not quite enjoy all of the particular caring I have received from this unique friend...and I hope to be with her all the way through her trial. For I have other friends going through the same trials, and my outlook on some things is nearing its breaking point, so I am forever grateful that I might come here, and indulge myself in your love. Thank you....K

Nocturnal, Vandana...thank you.

Kate...your feeling helps me share it. Thank you.

Jesse...you're welcome.


LR...fine words for a very new member. Outside of this piece, you will find many, many people who exhibit their writings/emotions/selves far better than I ever will, but I am grateful for your glance, and hope that you will find me on better days in the future. Thank you.


Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

22 posted 2010-08-20 12:44 PM


Sunshine, it's been a while since I've read you and the heart you put into your words. So nice to "see" you through your poetry again.

~Sunkissed

OldBuddyOldPal
Member
since 2008-12-15
Posts 87

23 posted 2010-08-20 04:23 PM


This is absolutely outstanding. I cannot express how it makes me feel because those feelings are so deep inside. You are an amazing writer.
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
24 posted 2010-08-23 11:37 PM


Sun, it's good to see you shining again. I'll be checking in with you...

OBOP...thank you, Sir. Truth is most difficult to write about, when it hasn't yet
become a memory.

Bless you.


JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
25 posted 2010-08-26 12:12 PM


"I hear it is because I’m old
that I hear more of it
as it backgrounds lives, covering skins
I cherish."

Remarkable write Sunshine!

JL


nourzihane
Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 254
Algeria
26 posted 2010-08-27 06:13 AM


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (08-27-2010 09:10 AM).]

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
27 posted 2010-08-27 09:09 PM


JL, my friend, it is good to see your return. Thank you.

Nourzihane...lovely lady. Thank you for reading.

My friend and basis of this poem is failing...but you may well read of her again in the future, she is such a light and love of hope.

Be well, my friends.


Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
28 posted 2010-09-03 09:41 PM


On September 3, at 1:00 a.m., my beloved friend, mentor, confidant, and poet, passed away.

She found a number of friends at Passions in Poetry. She had a wealth of friends around the world to begin with, but some of them didn't share her interest in reading and poetry.

We read Rumi at times. She introduced me to Julia Cameron. We went to lunch and movies together. My losing a job was to gain more time in being with her...an overall win-win situation.

At celebratory times, like birthdays, or Christmas, it was her character to bequeath books to those who knew what it is to love reading.

She was a phenomenal Scrabble opponent, and taught me how to be cut-throat. Because she learned that technique from a former co-worker at Honeywell over the lunch hour.

She met adversarial conditions and overtook them with charm, perseverence, and wit.

She is gone, and she is here.

I may soon be taking up my "Louise's Thursdays" by volunteering at the Hospice center where she stayed for only seven days.

It makes sense.

It helps with peace.


Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
29 posted 2010-09-09 11:17 AM


Oh, my dear, sweet, compassionate, poetess friend. Each word flowed directly from your heart and into the hearts of your readers. Many who read this incredibly moving piece of raw emotion, will be able to identify with such pain and the utter sense of helplessness.

God bless you and all those you love,

Linda

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

30 posted 2010-09-09 11:40 AM


K you write your heart because it is so kind and you write it very well....thank you for sharing...

Goldenrose.

Friendship is Love without his wings. Lord Byron.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
31 posted 2010-09-12 02:13 PM


I understand these feelings all to well, Karilea. I'm sending you a hug.
                            Ida
                              

sasanka7
Junior Member
since 2010-11-17
Posts 30

32 posted 2010-12-03 03:32 AM


Very sensible,sincere and from the core of the heart. I like it . I read it twice, thrice and it make me silent. Thank you for sharing.
sasanka7

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
33 posted 2010-12-03 04:31 AM


That word appears time and again in most of our lives pages, I dread that word deeply, seen my mum through it. This one is heartfelt, sincere write.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
34 posted 2010-12-03 04:57 AM


Karilea,

    I can't put it any better than Margherita, so I hope she doesn't mind if I repeat what she says,"we all oscillate between light and darkness, wrapped in the deep mystery of existence. Love has the power to smooth the rough edges, always."   I send you bundles of small gifts of love to open when you need an imaginary pat.  Notice, I said BUNDLES!   I think of you often and cherish our sisterhood.   Thank you for everything you have given me in my oscillating times.  Thinking of you.

Your writing brought those old tears to the corner of my eye... You expressed yourself beautifully and brilliantly.  

Remember, open some of the bundles I send.


hugs,

cathy


nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
35 posted 2010-12-03 06:22 AM


and in the sadness of it all whenever I have the need, I open my phone to call but realize there will be no one there to answer~~~

understanding ~~hugs~~

M

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
36 posted 2010-12-03 07:07 AM


Such sadness in this Karilea.
The feelings are vividly put across.

The maturity of many of your replies to this are very encouraging to all readers and I wish you the very best as you carry on this legacy.
I KNOW you'll do well!!

Eric

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
37 posted 2010-12-03 09:17 AM


I love the "feeling," even the anger involved here, Sunshine. Anger is so misunderstood, for there is a time and place for that strong emotion as is there any of the others.

I see this was written some time ago. I assume things are somewhat better now. I hope that is the case.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
38 posted 2010-12-03 03:00 PM


I don't know how I missed this!  This sure speaks to me I tell you, as of this time in my life I am actually getting de-sensitized, and that is bad.  I almost expect news, and anger these days, and very seldom get back to the pain.  Thanks for the reminder Karilea.  You spoke this one from the heart.
Klassy Lassy
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since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
39 posted 2010-12-04 12:33 PM


Sunshine, when the words of truth are too hard to utter and leave rocks to bruise our feet and, perhaps it is best then to be a child and find an alternative view.  I have wished it so many times, knowing the innocence is untouchable.  

Your poem is tears upon my heart, also unspoken for the most part, but appreciated for the wisdom, understanding and love sustaining what we so cherish in each other.

These thoughts are uniquely beautiful, despite the prevalence of the thief who would steal your peace to write.  

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
40 posted 2010-12-04 12:44 PM


Your tender spirit touches me through and through.  I have often wished for the innocence of childhood which gives us the presence of a gentler view of life.

You leave my heart awash in tears and hope too for what we don't say, but mean from the depths of our being in the only four letter word that counts:  LOVE.

  Beautiful and honest.

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
41 posted 2010-12-04 05:20 PM


I was surprised to see this pop back up yesterday…considering it was a Friday, and it had been three months to the day that my friend left for her eternal trip. It caught me up a little...and when I came back today to leave my thanks...even more smiles and hugs to view. I love my PiP Family!

Linda, thank you, my dear, as I’ve been concerned about you and your own problems. God bless you!

Philip, thank you for stopping by and sharing.

Ida, the older we get, the more we are exposed to such matters. Your hug is very warm.

Sasanka, it was your post that brought this back to my attention, that people were reading and caring. Bless you.

Prasad, I’m glad you were able to be with your mother. Thank you for your eyes.

Cathy, your bundles are full of magic! Bless you, my friend.

Maureen, I think the emptiness of the phone is one of the lonelier moments. Thank you, dear.

Ethome, it was not easy for me to write this. And, I never shared it with her, because at the time, it seemed to be a selfish thing to do. After all, she would have changed divine providence, had she the choice.

Jerry, I can’t say I’m still angry that I was unable to forestall my friend’s leaving; and of course it always feels humbling and a little bewildering to know that such things are out of one’s control. We sometimes forget…it’s not always up to us. I do not write anger well…but I am glad for Louise that it was received with such love.

Mys, you never miss anything. I think it was just a matter of timing…and the fact that we still reach across the miles to one another.

Klassy, those were two wonderful posts you left for me. Thank you, dear.

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