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Open Poetry #46
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Uncas
Member
since 2010-07-30
Posts 408


0 posted 2010-07-31 08:00 AM



Dance me the deaths of my brothers,
My sisters - my people – now free.
Sing me the dirge of the long house
Long quiet and shuttered, like me.

I’m bringing my rifle and powder
A hawk, a horn and a knife
I’m bound for the land of the Huron
To give me or take me a life.

Hear me my brothers the Mohawk,
Algonquians, Iroquois, Cree.
Give me a wide birth tomorrow
For death will be following me.



© Copyright 2010 Uncas - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-07-31 10:00 AM


Welcome to Passions in Poetry! http://mouseski.blogspot.com/2008/12/legend-of-chief-uncas-and-indian-leap.html
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2010-07-31 10:19 AM


very nice entrance!

Welcome to PIP!

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
3 posted 2010-07-31 12:38 PM


.

Don't forget how much
torture was part of the culture . . .
And the rifle was bought with beaver
and of European manufacture.
Before that it was bows and arrows.

Also I don’t think the Algonquians and Iroquois, (which was a confederation to which
if I remember correctly the Mohawk belonged), much cared for each other.


.

Uncas
Member
since 2010-07-30
Posts 408

4 posted 2010-07-31 12:58 PM



quote:
Also I don’t think..


I’ll bear that in mind if I ever ask for a critique.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2010-08-01 02:11 PM


you hit the nail on the head

good job

Just write what you want and don't mind people like Huan Yi

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2010-08-01 02:35 PM


First off, welcome to Passions.

I really am looking forward to more of your poetry.  This was a great entrance piece.

We had a poet here that has passed on, Marge Tindal, and she  would tell stories of the First Nations struggle in times long past.  I miss those stories, so hope you have more.

Welcome aboard.

Words are weapons, toss them with care.
~ Mysteria ~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2010-08-01 03:16 PM


yes Marge...she was a hero in her own right

she is truly missed


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
8 posted 2010-08-01 10:27 PM


I like the power of this piece. Keep 'em coming.   And welcome to PIP.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (08-02-2010 12:05 AM).]

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
9 posted 2010-08-01 10:55 PM




awesome first post
I look for more
welcome Uncas

Donovan Callinan
Junior Member
since 2010-08-01
Posts 37
Omaha, Nebraska U.S.
10 posted 2010-08-01 11:29 PM


You have a very strong voice to your work.
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
11 posted 2010-12-12 10:16 PM


Welcome!

Again.

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