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Open Poetry #46
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Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama

0 posted 2010-07-19 04:16 PM



Swirling, black robes, grim bony arms holding his partner,
music that rises and falls in the echoing room. Gray shadows that fill the corners. More and more, faster and faster he spins her around the room,
closer and closer to the shadows that now seem to be reaching out to grab at her dress or her arms. Is it really there, that something in the shadows?
Or is it the shadows in her eyes that she is seeing. Look at his face, where is it? Nothing is visible in the dark hood, just an emptiness with eyes that she can feel on her face.
What does he really look like, she wonders as she twirls and sways in his arms?

© Copyright 2010 Eldest - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-07-19 04:22 PM


ah now~~~  serious poem, and I don't mean or intend to make light of it in any way...
there's a fellow round named Wranx though that wrote a series about death and having a chat with him you might enjoy, though his take on the grim old man was less intense than yours...

this, is an intense piece...and has a goreboding that unsettles one as they read the lines....

can't say I "enjoyed", but I certainly respect the imagery here and the skill it took to bring it off..


Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
2 posted 2010-07-19 04:23 PM


Thanks, didn't mean to unsettle, the poem was a response to a challenge to write something about Dancing with Death.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2010-07-19 04:33 PM


well, I see... glad it wasn't something personal then...
I'd say you did quite well with the challenge.

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
4 posted 2010-07-19 04:37 PM


A dizzying maelstrom nightmare, and I am glad you awoke to write this. As Melville's Ishmael says (to paraphrase), "I alone survived, to tell thee."

May I challenge you to write a work of similar length about dancing with a bright and loving angel?


Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
5 posted 2010-07-19 04:48 PM


Thank you, that would be a nice change!
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