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Dawn Day Dreams
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Dawn Day Dreams |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Dawn Day Dreams She sleeps alone every night Blackened windows hide the light Bitter sorrow wells within As she counts her tawdry sins Men tip toe in through her door Always paying, demanding more Only there for pleasured skills Leaving money on the sill Dreaming of another day For a man who does not pay Longing for his loving arms Whispered words that keep her warm As she lies on tangled sheets Gazing high, softly entreats For a life that lives in day Sun to keep the night away Spirit mangled, yet still lives She charges for gifts she gives Only dawn will hear her cries With emotions well disguised Dreams still linger in her mind Hoping for new life she’ll find For tomorrow wears her name And forgives nocturnal games - Alison |
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| © Copyright 2010 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Hopefully so. Sad and poignant. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Powerful stuff, Alison. Excellent! Ida |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ummmm I know the feeling...I get so tired of getting paid for it all the time...geeze the line at the door...all of those quarters.. enjoyed it little one |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow good work here |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
well 'penned'! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
enjoyed the view in.... a pleasure to walk your rhymes... |
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Eldest Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177Alabama |
Such a well written view of an unhappy life. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I've missed you, Alison  Bring this one to the workshop, if you remember the way! |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Dear Alison, this is very sad but showing shadows of hope, without dreams where would we all be, a good write my friend, very well done. Rick |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
easy1, Thank you - I think so. Glad we touched you ~ the lady and I. A - Ida, thank you. Your words always mean a great deal to me. Alison - DS, Okay, don't be a tease. A quarter what? A grand? Thanks for reading, my friend. A - Thank you lots, Dixie. A - Bruce, Thank you for reading my rhyme - and for your encouragment. Friends, A - Cpat Hair, Thank you for taking the walk with me. It's always nice to have company. A - Eldest, Thanks - good thing it's not my life. I am not good with money. Thanks for reading. A - 'Deer, I am back - thank you for missing me and reading this. I put in the PW - I will always know the way.  A - Rick, Thank you, my friend. Where would we be indeed? A |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Another good write, Alison. "For tomorrow wears her name" Yes, I like that. Helen |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
it hurts my heart Alison well done |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
Loved the rhymes! Kat >^..^< |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you very much, Helen, Kate & katahdin. I actually did a rewrite of this one and it's in the Poetry Workshop if you are interested in seeing the final draft of this poem. Again, my thanks, Alison |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
I wrote my heart into a rather lengthy, rambling reply only to have it eaten and it did not paste and now I am so angry I want to SMASH up the computer and smash the chips inside then throw all the piece out the window and burn down this building and the other Building and then destroy Denver using nuclear weapons and … and … Just know this touched my heart and I want to say so much more. Maybe I will but after my smashing property rage has finally been spent after having destroyed Colorado anger has finally been spent. Maybe it’s just the extremely hot heat. Now I’m going to try to cut and paste this and see what it does hope it works this time.  J Hey, nobody's human! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
it's ok to look back...but not to regret...I like the positive air of this....well done! |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
Ali, I have calmed down and no longer have the desire to destroy Denver with nuclear weapons. At first I skipped this one because I thought it was a picture but then on a whim I decided to come back to it and check????? Only to find that now I¡¦m wordless. What was it I said that got zapped? This poem suggests lacerations so painful and so deep they can not be described in words, of longings and yearnings so great and so strong they can not be expressed except through analogies and metaphors ¡K Which is the hallmark of a good poem. Makes the reader stop, and not just go on reading to the next post and the next post and the next ¡K It made me stop what I was doing, and think. That we are not so different, one from another, even while inhabiting our separate lives and in that wishing and yearning and needing we are not so far apart. After this rather fruitless attempt, I realize that words will never really convey how this poem makes me feel. It¡¦s like a right-brain feel that can not be articulated, only felt. Now, I think that¡¦s what I said, but this time I am not going to zapp this write until I¡¦m absolutely SURE that it HAS PASTED and then I¡¦m going to check that it really DID get on Pip!!! Otherwise I¡¦ll have to destroy the United States using nuclear weapons ƒºokay here goes Hey, nobody's human! |
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