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Open Poetry #46
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2010-07-17 12:04 PM





Tears ripped from me unexpectedly today,
whether surge or purge
I am too far from sanity to say I am not a weeper
when time bends in solitude unending,
I am too close to memory
to discount my own playbill of other lives;
though never prone to shedding tears by character
it was carelessness I think,
I'd let strength of grasp on my emotions
shrink until held a bit too lightly.

I remember running
through moon swept terror sounds
aged in centuries unnumbered
like red whisky sounds,
sounds woven into wind,
dogs baying
as if hounds of Hell
were saying they would run me down
before the leap,
before the chance,
before dance of cheap belief
flashes unencumbered
before the soul
beyond the mind
where freedom is distilled
as running into Fire.

In the cost of lessons to be taught
I lived to lay it down,
sweet poet lay it down;
mourning is for the living
the dead are too busy to care for self indulgence.

I'm not asking anyone to share in karma's melancholy;
I'll not spare my culpability
in teaching tools the monkeys turned to strife,
gift of fire worst of all,
fire when they are built to eat food raw,
fire when cold made them touch;
we came to lift them up,
such a path we knew could fail,
when wisdom shatters all belief
no discovery walks a beggars' trail.
Who will rise from shadows,
hold my hand if I wade in waters
of denial's sweet forgiveness?

Maybe tides in dreams
will carry us both away
washed in joys of soft awareness;
these same waters that flowed
through rivers of Babylon,
that landed with comets,
slaked dinosaurs' thirst,
fell as lovers' tears
through countless centuries,
might offer forgiveness today
but belief doesn't flow for the living,
it's a dream the future can't pay;

I've been drinking more lately
surely more than I should
though it doesn't bring me any peace
and doesn't do me any good,
I hear this ticking in my soul most days
through out my chores each mindless step to death,
and I need to sleep.


©2010 by icebox
  


  


© Copyright 2010 icebox - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2010-07-17 01:58 AM


I was considering diving down the rabbit hole tonight, but after reading this, I think I will just...sleep.

We'll talk another time.

G'nite sweet C.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2010-07-17 03:20 AM


Charly - There's nothing much I can say to ease the pain of this experience except that it had to be.  To give in to the tears is most definitely a purge and in sleep we find relief.  How to sleep when the mind is ... on fire?  I'm not sure but maybe more tears will help and then, of course, there's the intent to be at peace and to sleep which needs to be a determined one under the umbrella of forgiveness mostly for ourselves but also for others who inflict hurt largely through ignorance.

We remember, I think, other times and places.  Some can be like hell and others filled with love.  Maybe the trick is to convert the hell of this life into love while we still can and that, my friend, is no easy task.  

Sorry for the soap box.
Helen  

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
3 posted 2010-07-17 03:41 AM


we came to lift them up,
such a path we knew could fail,
when wisdom shatters all belief
no discovery walks a beggars' trail


The title drew me in, and this is a powerful lament you have written.

I do not really know how best to say it, but I am reminded immediately of passages from the 10th chapter of the Gospel of St. Matthew.

Not necessarily the words about strife, nor the verse singled out by Breaker Morant, yet, some of the others.

Peace to you the author here, and freedom from fear.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2010-07-17 06:05 PM


I think Helen said it best.

"but belief doesn't flow for the living,
it's a dream the future can't pay;"


words taken to heart


M

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2010-07-18 11:15 AM


enjoyed
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2010-07-18 12:40 PM


my friend, this just hurt

because I can relate

"I've been drinking more lately
surely more than I should
though it doesn't bring me any peace
and doesn't do me any good,"



Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2010-07-18 09:15 PM


I think it takes a wizard to write like this, Charley. I have read this several times and I am overwhelmed by the depth of feeling each time.
                             Ida

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2010-07-19 01:48 PM


In the cost of lessons to be taught
I lived to lay it down,
sweet poet lay it down;
mourning is for the living
the dead are too busy to care for self indulgence.

I'm not asking anyone to share in karma's melancholy;
I'll not spare my culpability
in teaching tools the monkeys turned to strife,
gift of fire worst of all,
fire when they are built to eat food raw,
fire when cold made them touch;
we came to lift them up,
such a path we knew could fail,
when wisdom shatters all belief
this part... ( not that all was not enjoyed and thought about) made me pause and go back to read..then read again.. and read again..  
not out of confusion..just because it spoke to me...

Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
9 posted 2010-07-19 04:14 PM


so much pain, so beautifully expressed.  Trite as it is, it will always pass.  Just hold on tight until it does.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
10 posted 2010-07-23 11:01 AM


I love this and you Charly. It's just that simple.

(I know I haven't been here in awhile, everyone can blame it on Karilea, for coming back that is).  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
11 posted 2010-07-23 09:01 PM


simply GRAND !

superb 'penning' !!

(wonderful title as well)

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2010-07-26 07:19 AM


coming back for a second read~~~
and to send some warm hugs

M

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2010-07-26 06:03 PM


Deeply felt, my friend...
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
14 posted 2010-07-28 07:02 AM


Thank you all for the gifts of your time and of your thoughts,

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