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Open Poetry #46
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tattooedsweetheart07
Member
since 2010-07-11
Posts 86
Pa

0 posted 2010-07-15 07:40 AM


Looking for your love was hard;
It was a long hard path
Like that path we took to the falls...
You said it was going to be beautiful,
But that path would be hard and rocky;
Like the path I took to find your love...
I stumbled and fell a few time along that path to your love,
Just like I fell on the path to the falls...
Every time I slipped and fell,
You were there to catch me,
Like you where when I found you.
Along the way we got lost,
Just like I got lost finding your love...
Then you said look at the water which cuts a beautiful path;
Just like I looked into your eyes to see that you loved me...
Then at the end of it all there was beauty;
It was the falls that was a remarkable site,
And at the end of my path to find us falling in love,
Like the water from the falls,
Which fell into the stream below...
Both beautiful and dangerous
Which show how much you love me

© Copyright 2010 Crystal Ault - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-07-15 01:13 PM


The last few lines are powerful, like standing up there seeing and hearing the water fall, and feeling the mist upon one's skin. That takes a lot of trust, so best wishes to the author. What can I say? Those forest ridge paths are often more of a scramble than a hike.
Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
2 posted 2010-07-15 05:13 PM


Very descriptivce... Great job!

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "WHAT A RIDE

tattooedsweetheart07
Member
since 2010-07-11
Posts 86
Pa
3 posted 2010-07-15 08:33 PM


Thank you everyone... and Ringo you didn't comment the rest of them I posted today... and the one is a brand new one I just wrote today!
Lamar Cole
Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274

4 posted 2010-07-16 05:49 PM


Love is a path to the heart that knows its own way.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2010-07-19 12:10 PM


the word 'path' was a bit over-used in this I think


I see you are fairly new here and just to let you know, you get more comments from people if you read their work and comment on it in turn.



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