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Kethry D
Member

since 2010-04-12

Posts 64
Australia

0 posted 2010-06-26 09:14 PM

Sorry Deer another dirge

This rutting thing is never love
this pain, this fear, his hateful shove
and if by chance she does survive
she feels such guilt each day alive

she does not cry, her tears held in
and nothing shows, not fear or sin
she's numb each day in equal measure
- holds back her love while giving pleasure

she’s feral and she’s not quite sane
she harms herself to ease her pain
her private parts are simply tools
but will not kiss – that’s in her rules

she knows her power and that’s a fact
but guilt builds up with every act
one day she’ll die or just explode
or else while rutting she’ll implode

then be no more, she’s only shell
her silence kept she will not tell
she's safe in here, there’s no abuses
this rutting thing – it has it’s uses

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

[This message has been edited by Kethry D (06-26-2010 10:04 PM).]

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2010-06-26 09:55 PM

Yo dear Kethry D,

This has good rhythem and rhyme.

Love Bobby

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

2 posted 2010-06-27 04:03 AM

I agree about the meter and rhyme... It is a good write, imho.

I've known people who are like this inside, not willing to trust again for years. Sometimes they do snap out of it eventually.

The only feral cat that ever let me get close enough to pet him, back at an apartment complex I used to call home, really needed the affection, though you could see he'd been in a lot of fights.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2010-06-27 08:21 AM

Dirge on, Keth, especially when you do it in such perfect meter and style.

I have two feral cats that I feed twice a day on my back porch. It took me over six months to get one to come close enough to pet and a couple of months more for the other one, watching. Now they are all over me when I bring the food out, rubbing, purring and fearless. It can happen with the passage of time and having confidence in another.

Even dirges can have happy endings

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

4 posted 2010-06-27 08:44 AM

I have to agree. The rhyme and meter are very good.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2010-06-27 09:13 AM

I love it...and especially the innuendo...of some humans.

Good to see you Keth, hope you are well.

M

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2010-06-27 07:08 PM

Dirges are one thing
good poems are another
and feral cats?

Well...

I can mind where you're coming from
but I have heard them scream.

Let's talk, yes?

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2010-06-28 10:51 AM

reminds me of times I lived once...but those are long ago

thanks for this dirge

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

8 posted 2010-06-29 01:15 AM

I fell in love with this poem. I loved the title, the structure, the words. Fantastic job.

A

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

9 posted 2010-07-02 01:19 AM

A great poem Kethry, I really enjoyed it.

Well written.

Lindsay

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