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Open Poetry #46
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In Just One Passing
| Open Poetry #46 |
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In Just One Passing |
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zeusthamghty Junior Member
since 2010-06-20
Posts 45west virginia, usa |
There she was Just walking towards me. Her long dark hair, Tight red dress, And her soul piercing Crystal clear blue eyes, They were just intoxicating. I was standing in a darkened corner, Just waiting for my chance to talk to her. As she got closer, My anticipation built She kept getting closer and closer. Her hair was blowing in the gentile breeze. Her eyes were sparkling in the low light, But they never lost their focus From strait ahead. As she approached where I was I tried to speak, but couldn’t, As if someone had put a gag in my mouth. I tried to move, But it felt like I was weighted down. She walked by, never stopping, Or looking in my direction. I missed my chance To be that special someone. There will never be another chance Like that again. As she walked away All I could do is watch. My nervousness Got the better of me. I couldn’t breath, move, or even speak. I just stood there, like a fool, And let the most beautiful woman Walk into and out of my life. In just one passing. |
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| © Copyright 2010 andrew austill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
This is good.. here you have employed engaging imagery and simile, which adds to any poem. I`d like to tell the narrator that sometimes, chances like those DO come along again!  . I`d like to gently remind you that, if you enjoy commentary on your own postings, it is generally common courtesy to comment/reply to a few others` for each of your own you post. Just a suggestion, no offense intended, Z! . Best~Amaryllis |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
" missed my chance To be that special someone. There will never be another chance Like that again." Beautiful use of words. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
zeusthamghty - when I read this writing it brought back many memories such as what is said in these words. Nice write... BC |
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