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Open Poetry #46
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Alison
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since 2008-01-27
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2010-06-12 11:48 PM


i search the unsettled sky

the rain slides, slides, slides
down my window pane
carving a trail that disappears
just as you did

the clouds mask my memories

-

to Cade ~ love, Ali

© Copyright 2010 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

1 posted 2010-06-13 12:24 PM


A lovely metaphor for an expression of loss. Very haiku-like.
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2010-06-13 12:26 PM


I've read few poems more touching than this one....beautiful, miss.
crosscountry83
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345

3 posted 2010-06-13 12:41 PM


Alison, this is so heartfelt and genuine, which makes emotion come through beyond what most poems can do. -Rileigh
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2010-06-13 01:57 AM


Bastet,

Thank you.  I miss my friend.

A

-

Balladeer,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am working on the history assignment.  Trying to bring some life to my story.

Hugs
Alison

-

Rileigh,

You touch me.

xoxoxo
A

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
5 posted 2010-06-13 03:05 AM


So very poignant.. so much sadness and longing concentrated into six little lines.. a true poet`s art. I especially liked the repeat of `slides` in L2.. a lovely way to bring in a coherent image  of the metaphor.. wonderful, Alison!  
~Amaryllis
.
ps.. I hope he reads this poem.. for your sake..  

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
6 posted 2010-06-13 03:20 AM


Thank you, my new friend.

Cade died of Pancreatic Cancer - he is forever in my heart.  

Thank you
A

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
7 posted 2010-06-13 03:27 AM


Oh Alison, I am so sorry.. even more touching..oh..
.
Well, I think he did read it already, then, dear.. in your heart.
.
Love~amaryllis

arthur
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since 2001-08-14
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england
8 posted 2010-06-13 05:21 AM


haunting-arthur
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
9 posted 2010-06-13 11:13 AM


awww hon, I know that feeling



Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2010-06-13 05:40 PM


Thank you, Amaryllis, Arthur and Dixie.  

Love,
A

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