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Open Poetry #46
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Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2010-06-09 03:08 AM


So slay tomorrow
eyes crimped tight
pixels obedient crawling
graffiti to
help shrug the burrs of
attached expectations
you always disappoint, see
in the primal waterway
your insecure
leviathan
since birth, since toddlerhood
since swingsets bikes and braces
since autonomy
has flown to orion
it`s ever been beneath.
Because the domicle sits
a biohazard
heavy with inadequacies
emptying only to a web
of strangers
still you strangle
in the shameful need
for approval
again, oh yes you
disappoint.
So smile shale again
as firm as brittle
maybe this time
it will work.
Don`t disappoint.
.
.
*Sorry for the ranting diary entry, heh! Was in `a mood`.. needed to get it out.      *About yours truly, not anyone else on here. Thanks

© Copyright 2010 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2010-06-09 03:14 AM


I stamp you: "VALIDATED"



Enjoyed.

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2010-06-09 03:29 AM


Yay!  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2010-06-09 03:45 AM


No need for a disclaimer. The Amaryllis is one of my favorite bulb-flowers--bigger, better, every year.

As for biohazards? tch...all it takes is three to five days in the sun, and we leak that stuff like...oil.

Hugs, lovie.

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
4 posted 2010-06-09 04:01 AM


Aw thanks, Serenity~! You make me smile.. looks funny with these perma-frown lines lol  
.
~A

Kethry D
Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64
Australia
5 posted 2010-06-09 04:26 AM


I endorse the validity stamp.

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2010-06-09 07:03 AM


need violated?  ok..be right over..oh validated...oh ok..dammit..
Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

7 posted 2010-06-09 07:48 AM




You’re shameful need for approval?

None of us here, are simply writing poems and throwing them to the wind (which is what many people feel I should do, and I agree, but still, I post) we are writing poems to share, and learn, by reviews good or not. Bad breath is still better then no breath, yes? So if you are shameful for approval, you are in good company, I’m the C.E.O.

Ahhh, disappointment over… expectations, hmmm, who’s, your’s, others? Are you a good person? Good. Nuff said. We need not be so hard on ourselves, their’s plenty of other’s who will happily do that for us. By the way, as far as poets go, I would say you’ve met every expectation of a gifted writer, and then some… and a bag of Cheeto’s, so open the bag and have a couple, you deserve it.

“emptying only to a web of strangers”

Oh yeah, and I’m also the VP of strange errs so…


Plus, were not really strangers, are we? Not really. I mean we haven’t got together for beer and crumpets (I know, don’t ask) but your soul drips from your pen every time you  breathe onto one of these pages, and it shows, in colors tender and compassionate, in ways of light and laughter, and flutter of wings, in flight.

No, we know you all too well dear friend. At least I do. Disappointment, insecurity, lost freedoms, inadequacies, choking desires for confirmation to simply and somehow just be, relevant… geez, you just wrote my epitaph. Well at least now I don’t have to.

Frail nothing, keep smiling my friend or you will disappoint, me.

It’s one of the few pure joys we have, in each other.

Oh, and I would agree, you are too sweet, for me.

But then, who isn’t?


Richard xx

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
8 posted 2010-06-09 07:50 AM


Dark one, you been hanging around with Toerag?

Amaryllis-This looks like something LongJohn would have written. (Going word by word with dictionary to figure out what the hell you are talking about). LOL Just kidding, you are a very talented poet and express your feelings so well.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2010-06-09 07:54 AM


This was a challenging write for me with so many new words to check, but then I read it again and once again and it sickered in in all its genuine power.

Too sweet? No, probably "too smart"!

Love,
Margherita

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
10 posted 2010-06-09 11:35 AM


Oh great gravy..
You know how you wake up & look & you go: `Oh lordy did I really post thaaat??`  Lol  Well it was 1:30 a.m. for me, but still..  I suppose we write some semi-alright stuff (maybe?) out of the darker places.. especially in the wee hrs.. =P  (*feeling exposed)  Ok, with that:
.
Daaaaaark: lol! Clean the glasses my compadre  
.
Richy~ Thank you-thank you`s.. many times over..see I feel a bit silly because now it (the poem) reads today like more mewling for attention; not my usual m.o.. I hope.. but you were one of my 1st friends on here & I value your words & support.. muchly!  Insecurities.. inadequacies.. I know we all have them.. what I was finding fascinating in my naval-gazing way was how someone (like moi) would still feel compelled to `be` something more or less than genuine, even on the internet  (more friendly, less depressive, etc).. so I had to write about it. That`s always good therapy  
Am I a good person-? That`s so subjective, isn`t it.. I know I throw my all into being a good mommy!   And kindness is my MANTRA.. I die if I see/experience/commit mean-ness. I`m not talking about blunt honesty or witty/sarcastic repartee.. that`s all good.. I`m talking cruelty, bullying, tormenting, pain/anguish transferral..anything done in mean-spiritedness.     Ever the eternal pacifist eh  =P lol.. so yah if that makes me a `good` person, then yes, I`ll wear it!  =)
Thank you also for upholding my writing.. it`s been endlessly engrossing for me to see/read/comment all the various talent on here.. people close to me irl do not share my love for words, for poetry.. most of it is lost on him, but that`s ok too.. I`m not expected to bound into his hobbies either (fishing? Nah..zzzzz) lol  Soooo... very exhilerating to have my writing understood, at last!!  =D  (hence these dark blue validation stamps all over my forehead haha)
Thanks for being the gentle soul that you are.. You`ve helped me find a softer smile today.

.
Toe.. lol..!  Glad I made you break out the ol` Webster! heh.  I don`t know if I`ve seen/read LongJohn on here.. you pique my interest, I`ll have to look him up!
.
Oh Marge.. and thank you too, dear friend.. your kindness is invaluable!  
.
Ok, (deep breath)..
Thanks again, peeps~!
Love~Amaryllis

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
11 posted 2010-06-09 11:39 AM


You seem to write the deepest, layered personal poetry that I love so much.
Makes me really stop and slow down while reading it, and then read it again.
All the while wondering what is behind all this, and wanting to know more about why you write of yourself this way. But that is the amateur analyst in me.


Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
12 posted 2010-06-09 11:44 AM


An thank you too, Keth & C.G.~!
CG~ please read the reply above; I think we posted at the same time     thanks
As always~
Amaryllis

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

13 posted 2010-06-09 04:39 PM



What! You don't like, fishing???

Ahhh, I take back all those good things I said about... lol

I'm just teasing dear friend, even though, I love going fishing... Have an RV and a boat, and live 20 mins from a huge lake that has some huge, fishies in it...

It was nice to hear read this honest, vulneralbe side to you.

It just makes you all the more, endearing, if thats even possible.

Richard xx

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
14 posted 2010-06-09 05:06 PM


Amaryllis, I absolutely love this piece. It speaks to me as something that I've tried to say, but have never been able to express. Good job.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2010-06-09 08:07 PM


A pleasure to read...James
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2010-06-09 09:57 PM


I like you when you're "in  a mood".

Forget about Toerag. His dictionary has a picture of Alfred E. Neuman on  the cover!

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
17 posted 2010-06-09 11:37 PM


Thank you, stargal, James, & `Deer.. (lol `Deer!) .. for all your kind words!  
.
Oh, and Richard..okay, you`ve convinced me.. I rescind the `strangers` comment~!  
.
Best~Amaryllis

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