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Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2010-06-04 03:18 PM

When heavy smoke of leaf-pyres slowly burning
curls around the morning`s drowsy calm,
grey amid the sage-pale frosted grasses,
or sallow in a timid band of sun-
when the branches black and bare are waiting,
and Maples pull the amber sap in deep-
and tiny V`s crawl southward in the azure,
when hidden dens become a nest of sleep-
it`s Autumn`s last hurrah- she hands us over
to the old gent clothed in frigid white,
and with a final kiss she blows the last leaves
from their stubborn stems with all her might.
.
.
Ehh.. I know it`s rather `olde tyme` language, and a tired subject.. and possibly the meter/syllable count is off..BUT! I wanted to share it anyway.

.
Thanks for reading me..
~Amaryllis

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member

since 2006-02-11

Posts 1403
Virginia

1 posted 2010-06-04 03:28 PM

::smiles:: It may be "olde tyme" , but it somehow brought a feeling of comfort and made me breathe easier. Thank you for the gift.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

2 posted 2010-06-04 03:48 PM

Definitely worth sharing. I like the style, form and content.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2010-06-04 03:53 PM

Very beautiful imagery and I hear a lovely tune rising from your poetic words. Enjoyed this much.

Love,
Margherita

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

4 posted 2010-06-06 11:58 PM

I like olde tyme.
Ida

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

5 posted 2010-06-07 11:47 AM

I like old, tired, and a bit off, which this is not, it was fresh, eternal, and spot on.

Amaryllis, your sweet soul weeps out through your pen, and embraces the page so softly.

Loved this, as always.
Richard xx

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

6 posted 2010-06-07 04:03 PM

Amaryllis, the meter syllable is off? Hell lady, mine is never right, but that's the Toerag coming out.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2010-06-07 07:00 PM

Oh are we supposed to rhyme in meter?

Amaryllis, you have no idea the headaches I give Balladeer. He is a perfectionist at rhyme, and I have my own way I invented and that is how he got his gray hair, honest!

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