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Open Poetry #46

First Date Butterflies.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2010-05-30 03:16 AM

There were no nervous butterflies
spreading delicate safety-orange wings inside my guts
because we had been together for years,
made love in every spectrum of light.

And there weren't any secrets or scars
thickening the skin on our hearts,
beating in rhythm with easy fluid purpose
in the open air of a Jeep.

We found humor in most everything,
and our laughter fell like mercury orbs
liquefying the ground around us
making it easy to slip

and fall in love.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

1 posted 2010-05-30 03:26 AM

This is really nice, Paul. I like how you integrated "saftey orange" - made me smile and gave me a really cool image. Your poem is written with the ease that you describe the love. Does that make sense?

I am off to bed. I really love your poetry.

Alison

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

2 posted 2010-05-30 03:28 AM

Thanks Aliboo, I'll start posting more of it for you. And thank you, I just wrote it the way it came out, I reckon.

I love that you love my poetry.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

3 posted 2010-05-30 03:34 AM

Beautiful... you have an ease with simile and image, very engaging to the reader. Nicely done!

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

4 posted 2010-05-30 11:13 AM

Thank you, Amarmarmarrrrrrrrrrr... I appreciate the kind words. Glad ye liked it.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

5 posted 2010-05-30 08:27 PM

Yo Paul,

This poem works good.

I like your mercury orbs.

Bobby

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2010-05-31 12:00 PM

You sure got me smiling at the memory!

This is so telling and such a delightful read.

Just wonderful, you~

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