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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2010-05-27 11:09 PM



Toerag sat in the restaurant, with his crackers and Cheeze Wizz,
Staring at the tall blonde at the table next to his.
She didn't notice that dumb stranger acting like a fool
Or see his shirt was covered by a waterfall of drool.

She had a face that angels envy, skin as smooth as silk.
Far too sophisticated for a man of Toerag's ilk
But Toerag simply sat and stared and dreamed of what could be
If he were not as homely as an Aboriginie.

He heard the sneeze and saw the eyeball flying at his face.
He snagged it with a Willie Mays (without old Willie's grace).
The gorgeous beauty he admired now only had one eye,
Her sneeze had launched the glass one like an arrow in the sky!

She thanked Toerag profusely for the saving of her eye
And asked our boy to join her. He was such a happy guy!
He ate the meal voraciously, a big smile on his face.
She asked him if he'd like to have  a nightcap  at her place.

One thing led to another and Toe lay in morning light
Reliving every second of a passionate-filled night.
Had all this really happened? Was his recollection true?
A voice inside his head was saying, "Who would sleep with YOU?"

He turned to her and said, "Hey, sweetheart. I don't understand"
This whole thing that we shared together really wasn't planned."
"Was all this something that you do with every single guy?"
"Oh, no", she smiled demurely, "you just happened to catch my eye!"






© Copyright 2010 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
1 posted 2010-05-28 01:00 AM


LOL! You can sure tell the stories. And I always love to read them.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
2 posted 2010-05-28 01:47 AM


Fantastic. One day I will tell you a story about a glass  eye and a beautiful girl LOL
Brooks M
Junior Member
since 2010-05-26
Posts 19
California
3 posted 2010-05-28 02:07 AM


LOL... you two really have it in for eachother dont ya.. too funny
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2010-05-28 07:51 AM


Eye have no idea what this is all about. This is not true. Her name was Eyelean and I could see right thru her..I know what she was after the whole time.

[This message has been edited by Toerag (05-28-2010 09:16 AM).]

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2010-05-30 03:45 PM


I was reading this out loud - so I am laughing out loud.  This is so funny.

OldBuddyOldPal
Member
since 2008-12-15
Posts 87

6 posted 2010-05-31 12:05 PM


Your endings are so predictable but not until we get there...... you always keep us guessing!!!
Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2010-05-31 07:16 PM


An eyecatching tale indeed.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2010-06-01 10:51 AM


I've had my eye on that fine fella for years... didn't know I needed to sneeze an eyeball out... thanks for the tip!!! LOL
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2010-06-01 12:52 PM


Eye saw that coming!  LOL
Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
10 posted 2010-06-01 03:24 PM


Always, the eyes have it!  
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
11 posted 2010-06-01 07:26 PM


Yo Balladeer... They say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  As it relates to Toe, me thinks it sould be... The holder of the eye is in the beauty.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
12 posted 2010-06-01 07:47 PM


LOL!  At Andrew Scott`s comment~! Too rich, love it  
I`ve been reading along, laughing away at you two; hesitant to comment `cuz I`m not in `the crowd`, heh! (newbie).  But thaaat reply did me in! This whole poem is hilarious,  so that was just eye-cing on the cake...  =P  *groan*
(little patience, I`ll get better..)  

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2010-06-01 08:26 PM


Thank you all for joining in our little Toefoolery. I like to socket to him...(groan).

Amaryllis, you are certainly welcome to join right in...I've read some of your brilliant writing. Toerag told me privately that he doesn't like you at all so you're better off being on MY side.

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
14 posted 2010-06-01 08:38 PM


Oh izzat so? lol
We`ll have to let him know neither of you seem to be good privates...(re: Toerag in Iraq) or good at being private... heh
  
~A

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
15 posted 2010-06-01 08:53 PM


Do you wanna read this again, Threadbear?

"Wood Eye? Wood Eye!"
harelip harelip

(punchline without a joke)

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2010-06-01 09:32 PM


Toerag is actually a very good private!

Jeff, one of my Toerad poems in the archives deals with that line!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
17 posted 2010-06-01 09:54 PM


Amaryllis, be careful of this side pickin'. For pickin' Toe can put you in a jam. And there's none better at pickelin' then our own Balladeer. Whereas, sidin' with the Deer will put crosshairs on you backside... and Toe's a damn good shot. I stepped into this war a long time back. All I can say is bring plenty of ammo of the highest caliber, and be prepared to have at it.



"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
18 posted 2010-06-01 10:23 PM


Eep-!  Sorry, Toerag, Balladeer!  
*puts on Kevlar, ducks for cover

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
19 posted 2010-06-02 07:54 AM


Dear Amaryllis,
     I'm so sorry Ball a deer has lied to you about my dislike for you. And, be careful around him, don't trust anyone that always talks about men's "privates"....

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
20 posted 2010-06-02 10:56 AM


well I suspect she still keeps an eye out for you too?

funny stuff you two..

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
21 posted 2010-06-02 12:06 PM


LOL!  
ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

22 posted 2010-06-02 01:00 PM


ROFLOL I really enjoy the way you two go at each other. The poem is funny witty and a enjoyment to read. I always enjoy your poetic warfare,EYE love it.


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
23 posted 2010-06-02 02:48 PM


Well done, 'Deer.  Ol' Toe is speechless almost.  Write another poem - that oughta put that scalawag to silence.
Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
24 posted 2010-06-04 06:03 AM


I heard in cricket that "Catches win matches" however never knew that it would turn out this way. Lol...

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
25 posted 2010-06-04 11:36 PM




Hi Mike it's just as well that Toerag was on
ball, think what an awful night he would

have had if he had failed to catch her eye.
It doesn't bear thinking about. great poem.

Lindsay

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
26 posted 2010-06-04 11:38 PM




Hi Mike it's just as well that Toerag was on
the ball, think what an awful night he would

have had if he had failed to catch her eye.
It doesn't bear thinking about. great poem.

Lindsay

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