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Open Poetry #46
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SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina

0 posted 2010-05-24 10:48 AM


I got nothing in return and thought to myself
What do I say to that?
I'm well aware some pages are better off left unread
But that would bring a phase I'm not quite ready to accept
I can't respond to silence
Forcing me to believe in premature conclusions
Like the book I spent my whole life writing
Knowing I could never create the perfect ending
Why I'm still trying, maybe only God knows
And if there is no God
Then my inescapable fate will do the talking
But what will I say to that?
When I'm standing face to face with a reality I'm not quite ready to accept
I'd give it a week
And three years later, here I am
In the same boat that caused my ship to sink
Maybe this is where I was meant to be
Maybe this is all it was meant to mean
But quite possibly I could still be drowning
Only this time I'm anxious to see
If I found the right criteria to meet my happy ending
I am where I am because of mistakes that I have made
And I'll get to where I'm going by future paths that I will take
But somehow I'll still manage to get lost along the way
Right a few more wrongs and label them "lessons learned"
It's the way life plays, and to deny this is a game
I don't see how anyone could ever win
Or why anyone would care to try
All I ever wanted was for someone to comprehend this obsession
Someone to understand this addiction
But if I told him everything
What would he say to that?

Emily Shives

© Copyright 2010 Emily Shives - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2010-05-24 11:25 AM


Yo dear Emily,

This has too many "I"s and not enough "you"s or "they"s.

Id also try for more simplicity.

Love Bobby

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
2 posted 2010-05-24 04:49 PM


This is so many layered in its depth, that I find myself speechless as I try to dissect the meaning here.
Very good stuff.

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