»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #46
»
Extinguishing the Candle
| Open Poetry #46 |
|
Extinguishing the Candle |
|
|
whisperingwalt Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240Coquitlam, BC, Canada |
Extinguishing the Candle When it seems that The constant mind chatter Never ends "Why oh why" plays on Like a vinyl record continues skipping over the same words They say that anger Is just love disappointed So what did you expect? That fairness would be in the rule book That you could't find? Or did the lack of clarity Come from the past That you nurture Like a fragil flower that blows in the wind Can it be at possible That the longing to be understood Is something you misunderstood? Why must you be liked Even by those you dislike When were you assigned Mother Teresa's role? So go ahead have a good cry It cleanses the soul and lets healing begin Because life is calling So put out the candle of all your hurt feelings Because the sunshine of The morning dawn's rays Is waiting patiently To shine through The open window... ...that leads to your heart [This message has been edited by whisperingwalt (05-22-2010 09:59 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2010 Walter Aguilar - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Interesting. Sometimes people get stuck in a rut of hurting others unjustly, or of perceiving that they are being hurt when that's really very much in the past. Interesting poem... thanks for the read. I think this would be a good candidate for a slight editing for a final version, without changing the sentiments expressed. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Walt, this is exactly, I mean EXACTLY what I needed today! I'm saving this in my library! Thanks |
||
|
whisperingwalt Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240Coquitlam, BC, Canada |
Easy1, thanks for your input...You were right..I made some edits to and kept the sentiments...appreciate your honest feedback. Passing shadows, Glad it was of help to you today...take care and be easy on yourself..ww |
||
|
SlowlyFallAway Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279North Carolina |
""Why oh why" plays on Like a vinyl record continues skipping over the same words" I love anything making a reference to music, and the whole piece was good as well. |
||
|
whisperingwalt Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240Coquitlam, BC, Canada |
SFA, Thanks for your comments...I'm a big music fan as well. |
||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Some poems are gifts waiting patiently to be opened, shared and loved. This is one of those poems to me. Thank you. Alison |
||
|
whisperingwalt Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240Coquitlam, BC, Canada |
Alison, Thanks for opening my gift..glad you enjoyed it. |
||
|
Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Its hard to pick a stanza that stands out when they are all good. |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
||
|
threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Walt, when our souls are murky our eyes cloud in confusion. You a fine writer, sir, and I wish you well, Jeff |
||
|
whisperingwalt Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240Coquitlam, BC, Canada |
Earl, James and Jeff, Thanks you all for your encouraging and kind feedback...its like the fuel that feeds my writing.ww |
||
|
Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Well-written.. I enjoyed your use of natural language and the way the cynical, weary voice becomes strong and hopeful at the ending. Wonderful use of the metaphor! (`I hold a candle for you`).. or not anymore..  |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
