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Open Poetry #46
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2010-05-19 01:26 AM



your hair rolled like shells in the tide
and you brushed it with your fingers
finding pathways through the sunlight

you smiled in natural white
and stuck your tongue out
and bit it gently in a quiet laugh
concerning our surroundings

your freckles were like spheres of flawless glass
on a sun tanned ballroom floor
upon which I danced with you
to the strings of your voice

you were cold in the night, underneath
the stars shining through the cool dark
and I offered you my jacket and my love
secretly hoping that you could accept both.




Fall in love early, fall in love often.

[This message has been edited by viking_metal (05-19-2010 10:59 AM).]

© Copyright 2010 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
1 posted 2010-05-19 03:06 AM


"you were cold in the night, underneath
the stars shining through the cool dark
and I offered you my jacket and my love
secretly hoping that you could accept both."

What loving woman wouldn't? good job..really like the ending...who says chilvary is dead...well done.ww

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
2 posted 2010-05-19 03:07 AM


A nice entry.  The last two lines were special.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2010-05-19 09:29 AM


awesome piece!

I hope she accepted both too, but if not, then it's her loss

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
4 posted 2010-05-19 10:24 AM


Thank you WW.

Early, thank you. Glad you liked it.


Passing Shadows... Thanks love!

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina
5 posted 2010-05-19 11:06 AM


Good imagery. It's been a while since I've read your stuff but I see it's still just as good.
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
6 posted 2010-05-19 03:06 PM


You are all too kind. Thank you.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
7 posted 2010-05-24 04:21 PM


I love when you write like this.

A

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
8 posted 2010-05-24 10:54 PM


Thank you for resurrecting this, alaboo. I was wondering if you read what I posted anymore.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
9 posted 2010-05-25 11:13 AM


Heya you,

I took a bit of away time and have much reading and catching up to do.  If you ever wonder, just email and I'll let you know what's up.

I missed your poetry.

A

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2010-05-25 01:06 PM


n-joyed it VM...some cool metas in this one
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
11 posted 2010-05-25 01:12 PM


thanks daaaaawg

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

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