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Open Poetry #46
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2010-05-17 10:51 AM


I can still see that dream place in your eyes
on those mexican sunday afternoons
when you don't know me part of the time
and other moments I am still your captain

an older leather friend of yours and his
your third first mate as you named him
and said you didn't want to go to heaven
to see some used car salesman god unless

there was a warranty of happy ever after
so the three of us could go fishing for marlin
way on down below rosarito somewhere
and drink some local kind of tequila from jars

who was I again, you say you think you know me
but I look a lot older than the guy you knew
and did I ever have a boat down in mexico
and smoke smelly hand rolled cigars from cuba

and do I know a fisherman named joe from arizona


______________

daark (scribblnote...watching someone drift in and out of mexican drugs..counting the sunday afternoons left on one hand..paying the padre to speak english when he visits her..)


© Copyright 2010 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2010-05-17 03:51 PM


Yo Dark Stranger,

The prayers for the sick are rather simple, and beautiful.

Check out: http://www.catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=1104

Bobby

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2010-05-17 08:07 PM


Bobby J...thanks amigo...she just need to understand them..part of trying to keep her mind working as long as possible..in spanish or latin she don't get it at all so she just drifts..


Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
3 posted 2010-05-17 08:25 PM


The collocations that you employ are very catchy. ---- The poem as a whole is sad and my sympathies are with your loved one and you at this trying time.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2010-05-18 05:40 AM


EB...actually she is a widow of a friend that is being treated (kinda) for terminal cancer in Mexico..she don't even know she is there often..but the non-sad part of this is her world still keeps her with her guy from AZ..thanks for the read..
Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

5 posted 2010-05-18 09:44 AM


What a touching story you tell as only you can. Very sensitive touch. ebm
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2010-05-18 10:19 AM


touching piece here Dark

too bad there is never a warranty for happily ever after though

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2010-05-18 11:45 AM


ms ebm..thanks for the read and comments

__________

ms dixie..yep, damn warranty is never what they promise is it..thanks lady friend

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2010-05-18 01:23 PM


Every picture tells a story, just like your poetry.

Wonderfully captivating, with just the right touch of dark!

*hug*

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2010-05-18 02:42 PM


thanks babyblue..
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2010-05-18 07:14 PM


You tell this poignant story masterfully, dear D.!

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2010-05-18 09:53 PM


I know of dream places
Sunday afternoons
Captains,
Heaven,
And used car salesmen…

I don’t know Tequila
But I have smelled cigars….

And I know how to fish.

Does this know I might realize
A Memphis jean?

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
12 posted 2010-05-18 10:14 PM


Dark Stranger - this has got to be the best writing I've ever read of yours. Just something there that talks to one...

BC

Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

13 posted 2010-05-18 11:32 PM


Yes, it is a very evocative poem. You set the scene very well with "those mexican sunday afternoons..." The reference to the used car salesman and the "warrantry of happy ever after" made me smile although the general tone of the poem is dramatic. Just add a chorus and you've got a Mexican Greek tragedy.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
14 posted 2010-05-19 05:46 AM


ms mar...thank you lady fried

_______________

ms sun, thanks my friend...and only if you promise to remember who I am

___________________

bc, thanks amigo


__________

bas..thank you for the review and grin

SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina
15 posted 2010-05-19 11:19 AM


"when you don't know me part of the time
and other moments I am still your captain"

Everything is a phase. From moments to years. The littlest things have the biggest effects, and the biggest favors often do nothing. I feel like love and trust are here and gone, depending on the moment.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
16 posted 2010-05-19 12:25 PM


slowfall..I think when she recognizes me she remembers her love time with the friend of mine that has long since passed on...I doubt she trusts her thoughts too often beyond those moments..thanks for the read
threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
17 posted 2010-05-19 12:35 PM


wonderfully posed to the question of
hereafter
and the doubts that come into focus
as the end of days
near
Jeff

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
18 posted 2010-05-19 02:37 PM


thanks Jeff...
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
19 posted 2010-05-19 03:32 PM


wicked sweet.

you weave webs, stranger.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
20 posted 2010-05-19 03:50 PM


thanks amigo..
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2010-05-19 07:07 PM


Interesting...James
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
22 posted 2010-05-19 07:24 PM


thanks james..
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
23 posted 2010-05-21 03:25 PM


I could be applauding your poem... for it's one of your best. But I'd rather be hugging the poet... for reminding her of dreams and happier times during these fading days. A friend indeed...
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
24 posted 2010-05-21 03:33 PM


ms suthern...it is what friends do....thanks lady friend..
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
25 posted 2010-05-21 05:39 PM


DS....your sensitive touches me and always has
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
26 posted 2010-05-22 06:20 AM


ms martie..thanks lil neighbor
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