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Open Poetry #46
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threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy

0 posted 2010-05-13 11:08 AM


Nick Drake

tan desert stretching it's cordal arms
blank and without obstruction
it is song without lyrics
and this was Nick Drake's palette
of solitude.

the guitar was human,
the composer was the instrument
and time was captured in wet parasitic counterpoints
When the room stopped breathing
the voice descended down the microphone
and back again in padded hammers
of strange mysticism.

writing until there were no more songs in him
the day was done
with only three portraits in the gallery
he cancelled his show
came home
to spread his perfume
that loud voices couldn't smell

when day is done, and garlic fans waft away,
all that is left of the oaks
in knobbled knuckles of exposed roots
were the acorns of sounds we are left with.


(Writer's Note:  a tribute to one of the great emotional writers of our time.  Virtually unknown in America, he is one of Britain's most beloved songwriters.  
Here is a song to illustrate his talent (later adapted by Volkswagon in a commercial.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT17fInnJ_I

© Copyright 2010 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2010-05-13 12:34 PM


the guitar was human,
the composer was the instrument
and time was captured in wet parasitic counterpoints
When the room stopped breathing
the voice descended down the microphone
and back again in padded hammers
of strange mysticism.


awesome...I loved the visuals...took me into another place and time...well done!

some of Nick's photos remind me of Morrison? But that's just me??????  

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
2 posted 2010-05-13 08:07 PM


Thank you kindly, Lee, for your sweet offerings.
Yeah, he looks like a very young Jim Morrison: dark with curly hair, deep set eyes.  I love enigma's and he's definitely that!
If a person knows his biography, the poem will come into a little sharper focus.
Jeff

whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
3 posted 2010-05-13 08:36 PM


"When the room stopped breathing
the voice descended down the microphone
and back again in padded hammers
of strange mysticism."

Very descriptive phrasing. great flow to your poem....and yeah he does have the young Jim Morrison look.


Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

4 posted 2010-05-14 12:09 PM


Yes, I agree with the above comments. Your style is direct but very evocative. I also like the metaphor in the last verse. Bravo!


srizah
Junior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 34
India
5 posted 2010-05-14 12:18 PM


It is like seeing through your words, a very evocative picture you have painted...

Live Life!

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

6 posted 2010-05-14 12:34 PM


A fine write and tribute for an amazing musician and painfully shy man blessed with such brilliance, only 3 but all of them gems, my personal favourite? Has to be Northern Sky, one of the best songs ever...thank you for your words...

Goldenrose.

Friendship is Love without his wings. Lord Byron.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2010-05-14 02:04 PM


Thanks for introducing me to his music with your words.  So many great lines but my favorite, "when the room stopped breathing"


threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
8 posted 2010-05-14 03:48 PM


Hey, Walt, thanks so much for your time and kind words.  I think we all miss Jimmy as much as Brits miss Nick.
threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
9 posted 2010-05-14 08:19 PM


Mighty nice of you, Bastet, to spend your time my way.
Sometimes I get a little long winded, and that's never a good thing in poetry.
jeff

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
10 posted 2010-05-14 08:20 PM


Srizah,
Drake's life makes for some pretty interesting reading, and I'm just hitchin my coattails to the ride!
Thankx,
Jeff

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
11 posted 2010-05-14 08:22 PM


I am in your debt, Goldenrose, for your generous words.  That's superb that you know who Nick Drake is:  I think for most poets here, they would really appreciate discovering him, also.
Jeff

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
12 posted 2010-05-14 08:24 PM


Geez, Martie:  was just looking at your number of posts:  27,891! manonman!
Please take a second and load up several of the N.Drake songs on Youtube.  The poetic content is rich, much like Sylvia Plath.  He never thought people liked his work, either, and he stopped touring because of it.  Jeff

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