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Open Poetry #46
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threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy

0 posted 2010-05-12 01:10 PM


Mornings Without Remorse

Her sun sits on empty rims
morning sawdust coats the grass
and a distant city outcrows its neighbors.
I hear violin strings with every siren
the wind tastes of apricot, the satin is off white
and lightly aged.

I watch her eyes
sparkle in milky way twinkles
as she bends a knee toward homages
of curiosity
while clearing her mind of softer cream
images.

She is reeling out her kite string
with fisherman precision
and sees it impregnate the clouds
wagging it's tail in delight
her own pigtails slapping her shoulders
as she flies above ground
beneath a sweet calico kite flying day
and Isabella wears her flag
upon the sky for all to see.



4/7/2010
(of my granddaughter, Izzy, and the sweet purity of youth)

© Copyright 2010 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved
Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

1 posted 2010-05-12 01:23 PM


Great capture of time and innocence.  Beautiful! ebm
whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
2 posted 2010-05-12 02:03 PM


Well written...captured the essence of being in the moment.enjoyed it. ww
Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

3 posted 2010-05-13 02:26 AM


This is a wonderful poem, very slick and professional with lovely sensual imagery. A pleasure to read. And thank you for your comments on my work. Yes, I know it's not haiku (It's tanka). Forget to change the title before upoading. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your work.


threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
4 posted 2010-05-13 10:45 AM


Many thanks for your time, and warmness, Eusta B,
Jeff

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
5 posted 2010-05-13 10:45 AM


hey, Walt, muchos gracias amigo,
another poem that wrote itself.  
Writing about kids always seems easier! LOL

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
6 posted 2010-05-13 10:48 AM


Bastet, you are magnama-mouse, even in reply.  I have always loved tankas:  i think haikus are just too short to really express the meaning well, and the extra lines of tanka flesh it out well.    Please feel free to write some more of these excellent poems, Bastet.  It fits you well!
Thanks my friend, for the kindness!
Jeff

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