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Open Poetry #46
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2010-05-11 02:10 PM



hurriedly pushing the color from my veins
raising my arms and painting myself into a tree
in hopes that you will sit beneath me
escaping the harsher heats and rays of sun

the days will go by
and you will come back to me, enjoying
your bottles of water in my shade
cooling your skin, moist with sweat

when fall comes
you will still come around
from time to time
to see colors of love in my leaves
before they fall to the ground.


________________________________________________
Burp.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

© Copyright 2010 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
1 posted 2010-05-11 06:53 PM


I dig your poetry. It comes and goes straight to the heart. NIcccceeee.

Z

MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
2 posted 2010-05-12 03:36 PM


This is so beautiful.  I could see it all in my mind...  Totally loved this.

Aenea

If I don't say it...who will?

whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
3 posted 2010-05-12 05:46 PM


You hit the mark with this one...great imagery with the tree analogy...you ability to describe your feeling is great...sincere and heartfelt...well done.ww
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
4 posted 2010-05-13 12:24 PM


Thanks everyone. You all keep me writing. <3

Zigz, you baller.

Aenea. You're the bomb. Pretty, to boot.

WW, dude, you've been following me. I'm honored!

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2010-05-13 12:29 PM


I'm so loving this, Metal man~

Now why did you have ruin it and burp?
You're excused already!  

You're a great poet and I don't think you give yourself enough credit!  


Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
6 posted 2010-05-13 12:40 PM


when fall comes
you will still come around
from time to time
to see colors of love in my leaves
before they fall to the ground.


These lines are killer Paul. You always have the best phrasing. You really should be published.(if not already)

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2010-05-13 12:41 PM


really nice images which helped my mind to feel each word, thank you
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
8 posted 2010-05-13 12:43 PM


Blues, thank you. You're all too kind.


Fall in love early, fall in love often.

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
9 posted 2010-05-13 12:45 PM


CG, you flattering southern man, you. Thanks much sir, I would submit my stuff to somebody if I knew who to submit to.

LeeJ... Thanks!

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Lamar Cole
Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274

10 posted 2010-05-14 09:47 AM


Very Nice.
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
11 posted 2010-05-14 10:32 AM


Thanks.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
12 posted 2010-05-14 12:20 PM


very deep and beautiful metaphor, aren't we trees of love? thanks for the moving words.

yann

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
13 posted 2010-05-14 02:54 PM


Thank you, yann. Always so nice to me.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
14 posted 2010-05-14 06:04 PM


Most enjoyable I would say. Trees and love combine so beautifully here.

Love,
Margherita

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
15 posted 2010-05-14 06:09 PM


Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2010-05-18 10:04 PM


viking_metal - a great writing and enjoyed reading and also the thoughts it mentions...

BC

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
17 posted 2010-05-19 12:12 PM


Thank you, BC

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

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