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Open Poetry #46
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2010-05-10 07:41 AM



whispering of silk
kata of woman skin sins
momentary silent

lotus knows tomorrow
wears only dew of morning
tempting budo eyes

scent of jasmine breath
souls are leather tied when wet
pulled loose then bound new

stones wear tide liquor
cove of moans opens belly
frothing surgency

sand before glass before sand


___________


daark

(budo is warrior or one who practices the way of war...the setting is a beachfront meditation garden and a warrior and a lady combining kata (forms) and seduction as they follow the direction of the sea)

© Copyright 2010 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
1 posted 2010-05-10 10:05 AM




beautiful

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

2 posted 2010-05-10 11:51 AM


DS I like the Haiku feel to this... it is beautiful! But that comes as no surprise. ~ebm
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2010-05-10 02:07 PM


ms browneyes...I alway like it when you slip up and look over my shoulder..thanks lady

___________

ms ebm..thank you for the review..it was intended to blend some haiku and senryu..the fingers between nature and human social forms...

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
4 posted 2010-05-10 10:33 PM


Very cool in form and content.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2010-05-11 01:26 PM


yes, it was beautiful...like a summer breeze whispering softly music to the soul...very lovely dark
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2010-05-11 01:40 PM


Your fingers
are having
wayy too much fun.

Wonderful...
sincerely.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2010-05-11 04:46 PM


AS...thanks so much sir.

___________

leeJ...thanks lady friend


_______________


ms sun...thanks for the smile babe

Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

8 posted 2010-05-13 02:21 AM


Lovely and very evocative poem. I can see the seen, thanks to your explanations.Subtle imagery and impressive use of vocabulary. And thank you for your comments on my work. Yes, I know it's not haiku. Technically, it's tanka (5-7-5-7-7-)but it was in my haiku file. Should have changed the title.  I look forward to reading more of yours.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2010-05-13 05:40 AM


B...my pleasure to comment and to have like from you..thank you
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