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Open Poetry #46
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whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada

0 posted 2010-05-09 03:22 PM



Rain on a Sunny Day

In my dark moments
I feel alone
Even on a sunny day
My eyes hold back rain
I feel like I’m floating
Away from love
I struggle to swallow
What’s left of my pride
I know that tomorrow
I will feel different
But just right now...
My eyes hold back rain

© Copyright 2010 Walter Aguilar - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2010-05-09 10:32 PM


That type of rain stings
and only worsens without its
letting be...

let it be...

and smile into tomorrow.


whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
2 posted 2010-05-09 10:58 PM


Thanks for kind words
Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

3 posted 2010-05-10 02:02 AM



Succinct yet poetic. I like the repettition of the fourth and last lines.


Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

4 posted 2010-05-10 12:19 PM


Ww- Been there, felt that!  (ouch)Nice job ~ebm
deleeme
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766
NEW ENGLAND, USA
5 posted 2010-05-10 12:37 PM


You are quite descriptive in this poem using items of the natural elements, as expressions of your feelings.
Very Good!

I thank the LORD everyday
He has given me something to say
And to share with others,
My Friends, my sisters, my brothers!

To God Be the Glory!

whisperingwalt
Member
since 2010-04-29
Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada
6 posted 2010-05-10 01:44 PM


Eusta & Deleeme,
           Thanks for your feedback and enouragement...It was a poem that described how I was feeling in the moment...Today all is well with my soul.

Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
7 posted 2010-05-23 01:31 PM


this really inspired me .... rain is better when it pours out and washes it all away....rather than bottled up so let it rain let it and you will find ur rainbow!!!

~~~kingsangel~~~

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