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Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2010-05-05 07:27 AM

I invented automobiles
Advised old Henry Ford,
"Build yourself an assembly line,
Your production rate will soar."

Then I taught old Elvis,
How to sing in "highs and lows"
He made a zillion dollars,
With gospel-rock and roll.

I'm the guy to credit,
For indoor plumbing too,
No freezing in an outhouse
Just flush it when you're through.

I can't take all the credit,
This I must confess,
Because I stayed-just last night
at Holiday Inn Express.

I didn't invent the internet,
I just use it-nothing more,
Give credit to - where credit's due,
To our buddy Albert Gore.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2010-05-05 09:05 AM

LOL... I give my humble and profuse thanks each and every day for your indoor plumbing invention, sweets! LOL And you're very wise to distance yourself from the internet creation... I'd hate to be cursing YOU every time I got error messages. LOL

I peeked in this morning needing a grin and thinking about your cinco de mayo poem... and found smiles here... Thank you, oh wise one! LOL

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 2010-05-05 05:30 PM

Wise?? Like the potato chip?? Hey, Toe, the only think you invented was the Whoopee Cushion...although I will say the world would be a poorer place without it.

So we go from Forrest Gump to Toerag Chump...is nothing sacred????

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

3 posted 2010-05-05 05:35 PM

Ya, right!

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

OldBuddyOldPal
Member

since 2008-12-15

Posts 87

4 posted 2010-05-05 07:03 PM

chuckle chuckle

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

5 posted 2010-05-05 08:56 PM

Funny is the word today.

Namyh
Senior Member

since 2009-01-20

Posts 988

6 posted 2010-05-05 10:35 PM

Toe - So you were the one who did all that? Thanks for helping civilization along. We needed that Toe and I'm startin' to feel better. Nice job. Namyh

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

7 posted 2010-05-06 07:25 AM

Thank you all for the kind replies. And the only "think" I invented Balladeer?...It was a dictionary that would show you how to spell "thing".....and the whoopie cushion? I figured people like you need to never leave home without one, that way when you pass gas you can "whoop" it out real quick and say, "NO, just a joke, wasn't really me, it was this new gadget that Toerag invented", first he was going to call it a Whoopie Goldburg, then maybe a Balladrear, sphincter stopper, but settled for cushion.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2010-05-11 09:01 PM

Enjoyed...James

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

9 posted 2010-05-11 10:18 PM

By golly Toe I often wondered who invented that cushion, now I know.

It's caused many a laugh over here in Aussieland. Great poem.

Lindsay

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