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Open Poetry #46
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Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan

0 posted 2010-05-02 02:53 PM



Ashes

How the dregs of love
gather at the bottom of our soul,
a residue from the stench of neglect
and the festered scars of abuse.
A toxic reminder of loyalties broken,
and tender promises torn.
They slowly rot in the basement of our lives,
then when the flame has finally died,
when the warmth is only wispy tendrils of smoke
that elude our clutching grasp,
they are all that is left.

Ashes of dreams,
ashes of love,
gray, cold, dreadful,
ashes.

© Copyright 2010 Zeigeist - All Rights Reserved
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
1 posted 2010-05-04 09:35 PM



Ziegheist, that is an interesting post my friend, I sense a deep sadness in those

words, but one thing I know, the sun will rise and shine again tomorrow and I hope it shines on you. take care.

Lindsay

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
2 posted 2010-05-04 09:48 PM


What struck me with this poem was your masterful use of collocations.
Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
3 posted 2010-05-05 07:17 PM


Lindsay from the beautiful down under, thank you for your words of sunshine, they do help brighten my day.

Zeitgeist

Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
4 posted 2010-05-05 07:18 PM


Thank you much Earl. It's nice to have ones efforts noticed and tagged

Z.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2010-05-05 11:03 PM


This is a pretty dark spill, written with a keen eye
of the despair that is left in love's aftermath.

I kind of like the idea of the fire burning itself out.  
The warmth was wonderful while it lasted, and sure enough
there's something to be said for blowing smoke.

I felt your poem deep in the heart.  
It still hurts a little~
Anyway, nice work here, Zeigeist~


Bastet
Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246

6 posted 2010-05-07 04:04 AM


A deeply touching poem but so sad. Really great handling of your main metaphor, ashes.
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