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Open Poetry #46
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Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan

0 posted 2010-04-21 07:18 PM



Rain Dogs

I really don't care if
my glasses are broke,
life is pretty dirty to be
looking at anyways.

I just follow my feet
down my well worn path.
Nothing new is coming,
same old stories with new clothes is all.

I have hope whenever it rains,
that it will change, that
something new will wash up,
but it's just the waste of another day.

I sleep in the doorways,
I lost the smell of life.
Just me and the other rain dogs,
scratching our asses and waiting.

Zeitgeist.

© Copyright 2010 Zeigeist - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2010-04-21 08:51 PM


I liked this for lots of reasons.  Raw, edgy...an indelible pulse still beats after the words take their leave.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
2 posted 2010-04-21 10:52 PM


Quite the melancholy, dark piece here BUT I love it, it's very cleverly expressed and the use of metaphors and theme packs a powerful punch. I loved the ending, didn't expect it, it's powerful but also made me chuckle....which isn't a bad thing at all You've got talent!
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
3 posted 2010-04-21 11:29 PM


Gritty and real. A quality piece. I particularly liked those first and last four lines, but the whole is surely greater than the sum of its parts.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
4 posted 2010-04-22 09:13 PM


thank you Kathy for your kind reply

Z.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
5 posted 2010-04-22 11:41 PM




got my attention
I like it


Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
6 posted 2010-04-30 09:19 PM


Thank you all. What great people here at PIP.

Zeitgeist

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