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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2010-04-15 08:59 PM



Owning Me

This poem [gone prose] is in
its fourth, fifth, sixth
mental revision; I hadn’t even
touched a key…

they say, “write, write, plan a
time, write, write…”
I cringe.

Melancholia is a lovely word
until it applies to you; harbored
deep among snowdrifts, time
wound its way into its own wound…
it knew when to wash away.

~*~

What is the exact period of mourning

For the unwanted?
The overly-educated?
The elderly who are still viable?

For decades we pay into a security
in case our positions run dry or
wars wage or governments fold…

for the rainy days…we pay in…
only to find out what was to
be paid out only lasts
until the skinny lady sings

and it’s never us.

Great diet.

~*~

Meet Poe & Twain
Brother Shih Tzus
Owning me

~*~

Poe & Twain are markedly
dissimilar in stature;
challenging their world,
acting like Rottweilers
if someone crosses
my path; but let a
little one nearby come
forward for pet control,
and they are
puppy love all over.

~*~

My heart sang a love song
only a moment ago…
the robins snatched it up.

~*~

Spring is breaking all free
from the ice and hockey pucks
of winter…
I smile.

~*~

Those complainers of spring's
aspiring allergies?
Take a pill.
I will…just so, and I will take
in another that I might
breathe in the scent of
God’s gifts.


©KRJ
Tax Day 2010

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

© Copyright 2010 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2010-04-15 09:14 PM


Yo dear Sunshine,

I like this poem a lot.  Taking in another is always a good idea.

Love Bobby

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

2 posted 2010-04-16 09:42 AM


Sunshine ~ Hi!
I enjoyed this mind travel. It sounds like some of mine.
Perhaps we are shedding. Hugs to you.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2010-04-16 10:06 AM


very nicely done, my friend...

j.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2010-04-16 02:12 PM


"Spring is breaking all free
from the ice and hockey pucks
of winter…
I smile."

I smile back at you, Sissie.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2010-04-16 02:44 PM


talk a stream of consciousness - lol - nicely tackled, Karilea
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

6 posted 2010-04-17 02:34 PM


I was captured by it all, but this was my favorite part:

"Melancholia is a lovely word
until it applies to you; harbored
deep among snowdrifts, time
wound its way into its own wound…
it knew when to wash away."

That first line of this stanza is so powerful, and I love how you played with words in the rest of it...extremely nicely done.

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
7 posted 2010-04-18 01:20 PM


Many thoughts which i can relate to about the spring, such a lovely time of the year...

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2010-04-19 01:00 PM


ms sun..I always see you as spring and summer...lovely work ms
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
9 posted 2010-04-19 06:51 PM


This is why I read poetry.  There's nothing more to say.
Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
10 posted 2010-04-19 11:42 PM


..thanks Sunshine..

..always quite rewarding experiencing
your poetic voice..


..spiros
-----------

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
11 posted 2010-04-20 09:00 PM





what I take away Karilea is this:

"My heart sang a love song
only a moment ago…
the robins snatched it up."

I long to own it...


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2010-04-22 12:21 PM


"Melancholia is a lovely word
until it applies to you; harbored
deep among snowdrifts, time
wound it's way into it's own wound...
It knew when to wash away."
Wish I had written this.
                          Ida

Trapped - Nothing
Member
since 2010-04-25
Posts 52

13 posted 2010-04-26 10:53 AM


I'm no poetry expert.  
Let me give a lay person's opinion.
I think this poem was uninteresting.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
14 posted 2010-04-26 10:35 PM


oh my! Trapped-Nothing you seriously need to stop insulting the majority of the talented poets and their poems here at piptalk!
This fabulous poem is not uninteresting, it's very interesting and well expressed in a talented, creative manner. Sunshine is one of the best poets here at piptalk, please show respect!

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
15 posted 2010-04-27 12:14 PM



A very interesting write dear Karilea

it made me think and ponder over its message.
All the best my dear.

Lindsay

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2010-04-27 08:36 PM


Like flashes of thoughts tip-toeing across your mind.
You just keep getting better and better.  

Life isn't about how to survive the storm...
But how to dance in the rain.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2010-04-27 10:23 PM


Bobby, that couldn't be truer. Thank you for peeking.

Kahlil...I wouldn't shed with any other...that's a perfect description of this piece.

Thank you, James.

Martie-Sis...I liked the hockey pucks too. You know me too well!

LJA...you don't know how good it is to have your eyes again.

Steven...your my best critic.

Prasad...all we have, are relations...and relating.

DS...from your thoughts, to God's ear...

Alwye...and this is why I read YOU.

Spiros, thank you, m'friend.

Kate...borrow that line, dear...it is meant
to be shared. Much like what birds leave behind...empty nests, and all of that...it's all meant to be shared.

Ida...you have, in your own way, written that very thing. That's probably what inspired me.

TN - Thank you. Welcome to Passions!

Melly...hugging you. Everyone has an opinion. Quite like what they sit upon...everyone has one of those, too.

Lindsay, ponder on. We only grow from what we know. Smiling.

Nancy...love...thank you, sweetheart, for coming in to read. I'm missing your sunrises and sunsets. Hope to see some soon.

I need them.

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