navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » I Got the Music in Me
Open Poetry #46
Post A Reply Post New Topic I Got the Music in Me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kethry D
Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64
Australia

0 posted 2010-04-12 10:19 PM


I got the music in me

I cling to life - it’s no surprise
I’ll take your cheating and your lies
Because I know, when my music dies
I won ‘t be alone

I’ll sit in silence  - yes I will
Keep my pain enclosed and still
Be mummified each day until
I turn into foam

I know it’s wrong to be this way
To get cut up at all you say
Sometimes I wonder why I stay
If not to bind me here

But I have hope – I know it’s there
Beyond my doubt and my despair
That one day soon you’ll show you care
And cast out all my fear

It’s been years I’ve lived with dread
Not alive - but not yet dead
Because of strictures in my head
To never live alone

I’ve grown strong – it’s now my space
To claim my life to take my place
And should my music lose its trace
I’ll smile, through tears of stone

Hardened by these gifts you gave
I take this promise to my grave
My music has the power to save
But it saves only me

My music died but now it seems
It haunts my life right to its seams
It permeates my soul with dreams
And wins serenity



© Copyright 2010 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans
1 posted 2010-04-13 03:22 AM


Beautifully captured.
Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
2 posted 2010-04-13 10:30 AM


Interesting rhyming scheme.  By choosing to make the last line different it creates a jarring effect.  Thanks.  It is always nice to learn something new from others.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2010-04-13 12:19 PM


Kethry - super write.  I really like the AAAB flow.  I did it with AAB, but you have extended that style into four-verse form really well.  That you did it and kept to the theme of your message perfectly is a testament to your ability.  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2010-04-13 02:45 PM


She's back!!!

And better than ever!!




nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2010-04-13 03:26 PM


sending you a hug Keth~


M

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2010-04-13 06:43 PM


A haunting melody
That whispers silently
In testament gravely
To your captured state

May you waken fully
To a sound so lively
That you’re freed completely
From this tethered fate

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2010-04-13 08:06 PM


I also really like the AAAB flow.....A poignant yet hopeful piece, the ending was positive and perfectly said...welcome back to piptalk!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2010-04-13 09:46 PM


Well, well, well...

TYhe song is not a funeral dirge. This is a wonderful thing!

Welcome back, dear lady. You have been missed.

Kethry D
Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64
Australia
9 posted 2010-04-13 11:33 PM


Thanks everyone,

Long John has the terrible trio become a docile duo? I miss Toerag's spark.

Sunshine, Ta muchly. I'm glad you think I've improved.

Deer some people like my dirges, as evidenced by my being invited to read at Austin International ,Poetry Festival.

Nakd Thouhghts, thanks for the hugs. I guess I finally found myself.

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
10 posted 2010-04-23 04:28 PM


Hmm.  This is melodic, which is appropriate to the metaphor.  The first few stanzas made me tired.  So many are so afraid of being alone they'll take spiritual isolation just for the warm body beside them.  Toward the end, things were looking up, but still quite solemn.  We never strike euphoria, do we?

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

OldBuddyOldPal
Member
since 2008-12-15
Posts 87

11 posted 2010-04-23 04:42 PM


Ready to be put into song. When will we hear it on American Idol?
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2010-04-24 02:31 PM


Haunting and lovely in a very sad way.
                           Ida

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
13 posted 2010-05-30 01:56 PM


I agree with everyone - I tapped my toes and hummed along as I read.  I like this lots.

Alison

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » I Got the Music in Me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary