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Open Poetry #46
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Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 2010-04-12 09:05 PM


Ghosts upon a failing ship
Cast adrift
In stagnant seas
Seeking echoes
Of spirits
For that which never was
Crewed by haunted thoughts
While wondering what if
In counterpoint
To what is
Its cargo of regret
Carries no weight
But the sinking ship
In the sea of memories
Choices without preserve
A line not worth towing
But difficult in the letting go
For once grasped
It pulls under
And offers no safe harbor
Only stormy seas
And bottomless depths

The life vest is best

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

© Copyright 2010 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2010-04-12 09:10 PM


Yo Andrew,

Don't go near that ship.

Bobby

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 2010-04-12 09:34 PM


Got my vest right here, thank you very much.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2010-04-12 10:25 PM


I have missed you, my friend... This is wonderful! That's an anchor that drags at us all! *S*
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
4 posted 2010-04-12 10:29 PM


Ah, Lady Suthern... it is a pleasure to see you as well. Thank you for gracing my humble offering. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 2010-04-13 11:59 AM


Terrific metaphor, Andrew.  I could see the ship and easily related it to the real message you gave.  The flow was done really well.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2010-04-13 07:02 PM


YO! LJA... thanks for the read and write. I'm glad there are those from the early years still about... and those who still remember this fool of a poet.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Kethry D
Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64
Australia
7 posted 2010-04-13 11:25 PM


I could vsmell the briny deep in this and I too think life vests are the best.

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
8 posted 2010-04-13 11:28 PM


You worked that metaphor to perfection!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2010-04-13 11:46 PM


A line not worth towing
But difficult in the letting go


I have to agree. You made the metaphor magical. Very well done, sir.

It also explains why my marriage failed. My wife was a little dinghy!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
10 posted 2010-04-14 10:21 AM


Honeybee, I bow to you and your's in thanks.

Sir Balladeer... My wife is my life vest... a little dinghy at times, but far better than drift wood. Not that I'm any better.  

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

11 posted 2010-04-14 11:51 AM


I loved the cadence, its flow, and the metaphor itself...very nicely written but I must confess you caught me off guard with this line:

"Its cargo of regret
Carries no weight"

...it works well...I just hadn't expected that direction

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
12 posted 2010-04-14 06:19 PM


Steavenr: I can see how these lines might throw you off kilter, considering one often associates regret with a very heavy burden. However, I was thinking more in the context of cargo having worth and regret having no substance, thus no value or weight… yet, still heavy enough to cause a sinking ship.  
Thanks for looking in and pondering.  I appreciate the time and consideration.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2010-04-14 06:39 PM


Andrew! You're married to Mae West?????
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
14 posted 2010-04-14 06:41 PM


Haaaa... more like the Unsinkable Molly Brown.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2010-04-14 06:52 PM


Hi Andrew...good to see you here.  Keep that life vest!
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
16 posted 2010-04-14 07:03 PM


Martie: She be wrapped nice an’ tight, and buckled to boot. Thar ain’t be no way I be lettin’ go, no matter the stormy seas and wind tossed waves. I be hangin' on for dear life... for she be my wife.

It's good to be seen by such as you. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

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