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Open Poetry #46
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Oatmeal
New Member
since 2010-03-31
Posts 2


0 posted 2010-03-31 01:06 AM



Some Time Ago I was in Love with the River



Some time ago I was in love with the river,
Obssessed with its purity and daring rushing forward.
I'd compare rivers to roads, and waters to souls,
and sing of those beauty to ease my youth unsettled.

Light when seen from the dark is more inviting;
Roads when viewed from afar are much less winding.
I sang of songs which I barely knew,
And gilded the watr with imaginary gold.

Now even though I like the fair river still,
Its clutching power of magic is slowly going pale.
As I stand and watch, in hopes of spotting my new love,
My heart aches, alas, for my search has found naught.



© Copyright 2010 Oatmeal - All Rights Reserved
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
1 posted 2010-03-31 01:13 AM


Such are the ever changing waters of the river. Like they say... you can never step into the same river twice. I enjoyed the style and flow... no pun there.  I also recognize and appreciate the depth of the piece. Been there, done that. Just a note... check the spelling on water.  Welcome to PIP.
Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
2 posted 2010-03-31 11:26 AM


This was especially dope. Your word choice and metaphors are insane in the membrane.


I really liked this tons. Very good.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
3 posted 2010-03-31 08:34 PM


"Light when seen from the dark is more inviting;
Roads when viewed from afar are much less winding."
__________________________________________

Welcome to Passions!

You've made a grand entry with this fabulous piece....I've never quite read a poem about the river and life like yours before, you have talent!

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
4 posted 2010-04-01 11:39 AM


This is very beautiful, and relaxing to read like a gentle river.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2010-04-01 09:06 PM


This is just fantabulous! Thank you so much
for coming to Passions to join and share...with us, for us, for you.

Please, check your email for a
Very Special Message!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
6 posted 2010-04-01 09:15 PM


very nice, more please lol

Z.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2010-04-01 11:23 PM


very well done! I feel the same way about the beach!

Now I have a new love still being water but it's a creek instead.

Welcome to PIP!

Oatmeal
New Member
since 2010-03-31
Posts 2

8 posted 2010-05-31 11:54 AM


Ah, sorry my reply comes late.

Thank you for liking this poem.  It really tells about my feeling around this time, and gives a quiet and sad atmosphere to me.

I too like the lines
"Light when seen from the dark is more inviting;
Roads when viewed from afar are much less winding."
Actually they're the first two lines that popped into my mind when I started to write this poem.

Please feel free to criticise this piece.

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