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Open Poetry #46
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Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 2010-03-30 11:07 PM


Waiting…
watching…
where infinity lies
with dispassionate eyes
a timeless stare
that fails to care
of hope
less
plans,
the fortunes of man
and the meaningless
trivial pursuits
of unsowed seedless fruits

Such is his view
of countless victims
oblivious to oblivion’s
tendrils of tenuous fate
and empty promises
it’s not part of the job
to plant such dreams
for he is not what he seems
the casual observer
the herder
of murder
accident
disease
and
time

Waiting…
collecting the line
watching…
for bus number nine
he sits
in shadows of sunshine
and critiques the divine

“To what end
do they pretend?
this fabric they mend
these meaningless bits of tapestry
sewn by celestial design
destined for the touch of mine?
do their shades color the thread
so richly as to render it real?
I think not
for I have pulled my fair share of thread
and found it none the less in feel”

“And yet…”

“As I sit
to collect the toll
of accident with nigh time
what’s soon to be mine
by bus nine
I think
perhaps
not yet…
for the tapestry looks faded
a bit degraded
with too many threads pulled
and culled
an image mulled
to near gray
in my eye
so,
perhaps
not yet…”

“For who says I must
sit and await
said threaded fate
that, could come late
perhaps
I’ll save this picture
for another date
and give the thread but a tug
a shudder
a shrug
a ripple in the rug
to knock aside a little dust
and let the color shine through
for who would say it’s not my due
by these things I do
to keep the hue?”

“So,
perhaps
not yet
my mortal one
your time is not done
under this setting sun
time to reconsider
what is for dinner
let your arrival be late
and miss this turbulent fate
for I have others to touch
and we shall meet upon some other misfortune”

Thus,
departs the harbinger of doom
with duties to resume
as number nine bus
misses its faire
but takes its share
by poor coronary care
and a driver dead on arrival
to the six o’clock news
which reports a near miss
of passenger in remiss
for the night’s fare
the lucky lady
who’s left to ponder
the fate
of bench mate
the blind old man
she left sitting there


© Copyright 2010 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2010-04-02 12:23 PM


terribly sad
wow

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2010-04-02 12:37 PM


Amazing work....been way too long but I'm glad to read you again, sir.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
3 posted 2010-04-02 05:52 PM


Deer and Shadow... thank you for passing through.  Your read and words are much appreciated.

Perhaps some explaining is due for this piece.  I wrote this as if it were an old Twilight Zone episode. Rod standing off to the side, letting us know that the blind old man on the bus stop bench is really that final angle who comes to "collect" us all. But as he awaits the soon out-of-control bus he starts to contemplate the Greater Being's design and could he do something to "brighten" the general picture.  Rather than await the tragic fate of the young lady who he is sitting next to, Death sets a few things in motion that cause his "bench mate" to rethink what she has planned for dinner. The result is this near miss reported by the evening news along with a mystery of what happened to the old man that had been sitting there just before the bus went out of control.

As for the title... well, there is a lot of different ways we can read the word fair/fare. Give it some thought. Food, payment, color, equality, making a choice.

Anyway, perhaps my ramblings will help with the understanding of this one.  Its been quite some time since I visited these halls and I'm hoping to be a little more in touch.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

4 posted 2010-04-02 06:39 PM


Well welcome back, enjoyed reading this and thanks for the explanation and thank you for the great poem..

Goldenrose.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2010-04-03 03:23 AM


so sad andrew,
vibrant write

have a nice day

yann

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
6 posted 2010-04-03 07:26 AM


Remind me to stay off Bus 9, especially if there's a chance a young lady is gonna be sitting next to me.  Those bus stops can be murder.

well done, Andrew.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
7 posted 2010-04-03 08:12 PM


Goldenrose, Islander, and LJA... thanks for read and write. Some have commented that this has a sad quality... hmmm... perhaps... but I wonder more at the idea of Death saving a life.  He knows that at some point he's going to collect this soul, but why now? Does his decision not to make a significant change in the fabric of humanity and the design of the Greater Being? Was his decision already woven into the picture? Does Death really have free-will to make such decisions? If you take a western view of such things, angles aren't suppose to have free-will. At least that is my completely uneducated understanding.  

LJA: As for staying off Bus #9, if it's going to happen... better with a pretty young lady at your side than not.

Thanks again to one and all. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (04-03-2010 10:56 PM).]

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 2010-04-04 05:43 AM


Great writing Andrew. I did get that 'Twilight Zone' sense of it even prior to your explanation, so I'd say you were successful.

You've been gone too long, Andrew. Hope to see more from you in the near future!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 2010-04-05 12:32 PM


Denise, thanks for the read and write. Yep, it has been some time and I'm glad to know there are still those who remember. I'm going to try to be a little (a lot) more involved in these wonderous blue waters. I'm glad you were able to pick up on the feel of this one. Peace to you and yours.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
10 posted 2010-06-01 08:55 PM


Your piece reminds me how fickle fate can be in choosing the time when someone lives or dies.  That is my window.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
11 posted 2010-06-01 09:41 PM


EB: Fair enough. Thanks for digging this one up. It was my first post in a veeeerrrryyyy long time.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
12 posted 2010-06-01 10:53 PM


Yo Andrew,

This is rather long, and too complex for me to follow.

Bobby

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

13 posted 2010-06-01 11:43 PM


Dear Andrew,

You have scared me from busses now for life

Fabulous writing my friend, so enjoyed.

Keep it up!
Richard

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
14 posted 2010-06-02 05:31 PM


REJ: No doubt, it's a long one with some complexity and no real structure. But I appreciate the attempted read.

Richy:  Thank you kind sir. Your words are the coin of the realm and I accept them with gratitude.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
15 posted 2010-06-02 06:28 PM


This is a powerful write that leaves one pondering on fate. Just watched "Armaggedon" this evening and the threat of death touched everyone there ... but then it is a reality that sooner or later we shall experience. It's the unknown that scares us and our love bonds down here on Earth make us wish to postpone the moment and so we call for the Angels and I believe they do listen to our heartprayers.

I love and appreciate how you developped this story. Very well done!

Love,
Margherita

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
16 posted 2010-06-03 10:46 AM


Andrew, this really is an amazing piece of work. You seem to be getting better and better.

I always used to wonder about those people that would say: "Well, it must have been their time to go".....I've always thought, "Yea, whatever. Be my luck I'd be on a plane or bus with some guy that "it was just his time to go"

[This message has been edited by Toerag (06-03-2010 12:32 PM).]

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
17 posted 2010-06-03 05:38 PM


Margherita: I bow to you and yours, with gratitude for your kindness in read and write.  I wrote this with the eye of thinking that none of us really recognize how close we come to an untimely end, each and every day.

Toe, just as long as I only “seem” to be getting better… setting the bar too high only helps me win at dancing the limbo. As for the bus or plane, and sitting next to said unfortunate… I like to use that analogy with my 4th grade class.  All it takes is one person to crash the airplane for everybody to die. Good… bad… you all suffer the consequences.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
18 posted 2010-06-05 12:00 PM



Andrew Wonderful poem my friend and I

second all the things that Margherita
had to say. Take care.

Lindsay

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
19 posted 2010-06-05 12:49 PM


Hello, Mr. Scott~
Been reading through your poem and your numerous comments.. yes your poem is quite meaty and has a lot to digest; I read it through slowly a number of times, and your explanation, too. I must say I do like your poetic turns, as in
`give the thread but a tug,
a shudder,
a shrug, a ripple in the rug`, etc..
inventive and effective  =)
Yes, death is one of the great themes, isn`t it.. there is much to ponder..yet you conclude the poem in an optimistic way, with Death actually taking pity on a mortal.. (oh how I wish it were so!).. so the reader is left with an image of hopefulness, not sorrow.  =)
I want to thank you for your kind comments on my work, truly means a lot!  
Be well, be free..
~Amaryllis

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