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Open Poetry #46
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GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538


0 posted 2010-03-24 05:47 PM


Elderidge
Why does this black man strut with insolent pride,
through our town streets on black, noiseless feet?
He loves his skin color, tawnier than wheat.
His wide, strong smile shows the old ways have died.
The black crowd draws to him in their heat.
Elderidge is a man who owns the street.
Slavery his freedom's fever will not abide.

He will not live the way his father did.
He will not fear the white man’s wrath.
He will not take a cowardly path.
His courage will not be cleverly hid,
at home, in the walls, behind the lathe.
He’s learned his way, did the math.
On freedom’s future he made a bid.


© Copyright 2010 GBride - All Rights Reserved
N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans
1 posted 2010-03-27 06:04 AM


Beautifully Captured
sonnetswan
New Member
since 2010-07-24
Posts 1

2 posted 2010-07-24 09:42 AM


Hello, you must be Kim's dad.  I finally found a poem by you.  I've looked some forums that she emailed me.  It's been such a long time since I've written or critiqued.  

I marvelled at finding a Petrarchan sonnet.  Nice use of the form.  I love forms - for me they enhance poetry.   Your poem is noble in message also.  I'm not sure how much critique is allowed in this forum, so I'll curtail my suggestions to generalities - the weakest aspects of the poem are volta and 'showing' rather than 'telling'.  

This was totally delightful to read.  I look forward to finding more of your work.  Perhaps I'll write a poem to post too.

I must go to work this morning.  Maybe afterward I'll come back to comment and post.

I'm glad to meet you.


Michelle

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