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Open Poetry #46
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2010-03-18 03:48 PM



I closed my eyes
and saw you, looking up at the night sky
blowing sparkles out of your mouth, through pursed lips
making my world turn in swirls instead of circles
I saw you.

I closed my eyes
and saw you, looking over that strong woman's shoulder
coy and smiling because you knew you were clever
for sucking through your straw just so,
making my insides shiver.

I closed my eyes,
and saw you, breathing in the darkness
inhaling and exhaling
as if you didn't know the earth in all it's beauty
was just one of your lungs

I closed my eyes,
and I saw you.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

© Copyright 2010 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
1 posted 2010-03-18 04:04 PM


The title grabbed my attention at first glance, and I'm glad it did. This is superb  verse, and I really like the way you used  metaphor.

Art

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
2 posted 2010-03-18 04:39 PM


Thanks Art. I am glad you liked it.


Paul

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
3 posted 2010-03-18 07:14 PM


This is really beautiful
Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
4 posted 2010-03-19 11:28 AM


Thank you juju.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

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