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Open Poetry #46
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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2010-03-17 12:02 PM



Forcing Heaven

~
Some days
the loneliness is so palpable
that it becomes the want
turning itself outside, inside
seething the survival
that hides how dead I've become.
~
They say
that if you stare at something long enough
the eyes mold it into desire.
Perhaps if I rip my heart out
and stare at it long enough
I'll finally feel.
~
So, run the blade
through the belly
of a mocking sky -
bleed heaven down
it's blissful secrets
on loveless limbs
and stone rock skin.

I'm tired of waiting.
~
By Melissa Long-Monette

© Copyright 2010 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
1 posted 2010-03-17 12:10 PM


If you stare at something long enough you can mold it into your desire.  So rip my heart out that I may look upon it.  What a unique idea!  I found this refreshingly different.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
2 posted 2010-03-17 12:20 PM


"Working with children, Reading & writing poetry, Sports, All genres of music & Travelling"

Your post was well written and well thought out.But too sad for me. I checked your info and I see you have many interest.I really hope you are not as depressed as you sound in this post. I undersand sometimes we write sad, but I find it do es nothing to help the situation.You have so much ahead of you and it is up to you to think positive and  use your talents to lift yourself up. Just my opinion. best to you, latearrival  


StarlitMind
Junior Member
since 2010-03-17
Posts 12
New England
3 posted 2010-03-17 05:57 PM


There are some really cool soft rhymes and images in there, and I agree with Earl Brinkman, that middle stanza was wicked. I really enjoyed it.
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
4 posted 2010-03-17 08:02 PM


Thank you all  

latearrival: Thank you for your concern hun   Luckily, I am not depressed at all! lol
I am positive and trust in Jesus that things will work out; but since I just broke up from a serious relationship and we were planning on getting married, I thought that it would be fitting to revise this old poem of mine and re-post it  

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

[This message has been edited by Honeybee (03-18-2010 10:55 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2010-03-17 08:50 PM


"Perhaps if I rip my heart out
and stare at it long enough
I'll finally feel."

perhaps not. I have been looking at mine for quite a long time now


Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
6 posted 2010-03-18 10:48 AM


Poetry is a mirror of our emotions placed outwards for all to see. Both the sad and happy. Keep writing what you feel and posting, cause I sure do enjoy reading them.

Z.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2010-03-18 05:13 PM


Yo dear Honeybee,

Stone hard skin is the best kind of skin a person can have.

Don't knock it.

Love Bobby

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