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Open Poetry #46
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Ice Cold
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Ice Cold |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan 
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Ice Cold Its been bitterly cold out. Cold that stings your lungs with each deep breath. The snow, ice tipped, crunches with each step and drives my thoughts back to you. It was late December when last we spoke. Your eyes, giving me early warning of what your heart wanted to say. We were friends a long time before we finally called ourselves lovers and I know the look your wearing now. I watch but don’t really listen as you tell me our time together is done. I watch as you look to the left and to the right not wanting to see me as you do this. You shift from one leg to the other, wanting this to be done with. Your words hit the cold winter air and disappear into little puffs of smoke. I watch as “need more time” and “still be friends” turn in to nothingness and drift away. Then silence only the sound of winter ice hitting my hat. Your shivering, I’m shivering. Your goodbye lips are cold on mine. It’s been bitterly cold out, cold that’s stings your heart with each deep breath. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Excellent! You take the coldness of the weather and combine it with the coldness of an affair ending and blend them together perfectly...very fine writing. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Sehr ergreifend! Again, I can visualize the whole scene and feel the emotions deeply. Excellent work. Love, Margherita |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know that cold well |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is good, I felt a shiver. Ida |
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unfinishedlife Junior Member
since 2010-03-06
Posts 22 |
Amazing... This leaves me with a question: do you enjoy the winter time? |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
thank you Balladeer for your kind praise. Z. |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
When someone replies that they "feel" my poetry, then I know I did something right. Thanks Margherita. Z. |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
Yes Shadow, too many of us do. Thanks for responding. Z. [This message has been edited by Zeigeist (03-08-2010 10:38 AM).] |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
Thanks Ida, here is a hug to help ya warm back up..<< Z. |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
thanks unfinished, The winter time is double edged sword for me. I am quite active in the summer, cycling, golf, jogging. Keeping busy physically seams to take me away from my poetery. Winter slows me down and keeps me indoors so that I write more. I always date my work, so when I look back over my work I find that most of it comes from the winter months. Good question. Z. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
A snapshot of emotion, set into striking seasonal imagery. Funny, always seems warm to me, even when I find myself wiping my breath from the frosty windowpane. Well done. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
One of your best. The thought of those worn out breakup lines dissipating in the steam of breath. Excellent. Fall in love early, fall in love often. |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
wonderfully rendered, Z we are sit by the door waiting for the chance to be let out when words are warmer when spoken into cold air. |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
TD, Viking, and bear, thank you all for your replies. I really do appreicate them. Z. |
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