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Open Poetry #46
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shirtless
Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359


0 posted 2010-02-27 12:22 PM



GO WELL MY FATHER

my left hand
held his
unholding hand
while my right
arm wrestled
with the night

his eyes never opened
to the yellow morning
that crept across
his bloated body

in early evening
his entry
into the egg of death
was announced
by the rattle
in his throat --
the rattle of the chains
of failure
that bound him
to himself,
to me,
to humankind

“go well, my father”

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Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2010-02-27 03:04 PM


A sad look at life the way it really is when we move to the next plateau.  I have also been there.  Well done.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2010-02-28 12:02 PM


I think your Father was aware of you holding his hand and his transition was accompanied by your love.

The mystery and the sadness are intensely perceived and yet your thoughts of love give the moment a poignant tenderness.

Excellent.

Love,
Margherita

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
3 posted 2010-02-28 12:49 PM


You have given new voice to my own pain and sadness at the passing of my father, as I stood by helpless, watching when he exhaled his last breath. Thanks for sharing this sad and deeply personal experience, spoken so well through the art of poetry. ---Art
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2010-03-01 10:03 AM


wow

but....you don't need to use caps to draw attention

those of us who read your work, know already

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
5 posted 2010-03-01 03:55 PM


Powerful!  Whilst I am sorry you are so sad, I envy you your pain  I would give almost anything to have cried a single tear at my mother's or my father's death, or cared for a single moment.  

Owl

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
6 posted 2010-03-01 10:54 PM


shirtless - a most heartfelt writing, sad, but with much truth. Well conveyed...

BC

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
7 posted 2010-03-04 12:39 PM


Your words remind me that death is never too far away and of the pain that we must face when we lose a loved one.
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