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Open Poetry #46
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2010-02-26 06:26 PM


Midget cowboy Toerag, after weeks out on the plain,
Noticed that his testicles always seemed in pain.
So he went to see Dr. Balladeer for a remedy,
To alleve the pain that he felt in that extremity.

Dr. ‘Deer asked Toerag to hop up on a chair.
So he could diagnose the problem Toerag had down there.
Dr. Deer felt on the left as he asked poor Toe to cough.
“Hmm,” said Dr. ‘Deer, eliminating a left hernia as the cause.

Dr. Deer then felt on the right, requesting a cough again,
A hernia is not that rare with some challenged men.
Poor Toe was in mortal fear of what Dr.  ‘Deer would do,
Trembling in anxiety of what might possibly ensue.

Dr. ‘Deer took surgical scissors and began to snip away,
To quickly fix the agony Toerag felt that day.
Snip snip first on the left side, then snip snip on the right.
Though feeling no pain, Toerag feared the resulting sight.

Dr. Deer then told Toerag to crawl down from the chair,
And walk around the room to see if the pain was there.
Toerag was delighted as he strolled about the room,
Amazed the operation had healed his pain that soon.

“I never felt the scissors, Deer, but the operation was a success,”
What did you remove from down there to end my dire distress?”
Dr. ‘Deer grinned in response to Toerag’s inquiring looks,
“I simply cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.”

That poor ol’ Toe, always buying boots from the Big Man’s store.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (02-26-2010 11:21 PM).]

© Copyright 2010 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2010-02-27 10:54 AM


Well, it's been awhile...
but you're finally home again!




passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2010-02-27 12:47 PM


LMAO!!!

welcome home

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2010-02-28 12:32 PM


As a cowboy, that ole-Toerag bum is nuttin' but a phoney.
He can't get up on a normal horse. He has to ride a pony!
His six-shooter's just a two-shooter, I'm embarrassed to report
And his ten gallon hat? It seems to be about eight gallons short.

He walks right under swinging doors to enter the saloon
And even has to spit UP when he uses the spitoon.
When he pleasures gals, first he has to stand up on his toes
And, even then, the only thing they feel is his nose.

Hey, thanks, LongJohn for stopping by. You're always welcome here.
Come on by to the Lonesome Buzzard. I will buy the beer.
We'll reminisce about the days we tamed the  West and all
And all the times we used poor Toerag as a soccer ball!


Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2010-02-28 12:34 PM


This is funny and Balladeer's response made me laugh too. Can't wait to see Toe's offering.

A

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2010-02-28 12:43 PM


Absence sure didn't dull your poetic muse.  Good job and glad to "read you."
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
6 posted 2010-02-28 08:52 AM


ha ha poor Toerag, always a pleasure to read your poetical teasings.

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 2010-02-28 05:09 PM


Great response, 'Deer.  I notice Toerag hasn't responded.  He probably pawned the stepstool he uses to get onto his office chair.

Thank you one and all for the very nice responses.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2010-02-28 05:39 PM


Do my eyes deceive me?
I ask you - is it so?
Has that sailor returned
With arrows aimed at Toe?

I wonder where he has been -
Does he know he's been missed?
Even though his meanness
To sweet Toerag persists?

Long John, now that you're back
I hope you stay a while
For your shenanigans
Will always give a smile!

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2010-03-01 08:27 AM


I Have to wake up on a Monday morning to this rubbish? I'll have you know my holster holds up my hernia and the big gun does go down almost to my cowboy boots and snipping two inches off would only leave me nine on my buntline special.....Have a Balladeer and a sailor all at the same time....kinda like having a hernia and a hemorrhoid at the same time....

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