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Open Poetry #46
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bending orchids into love letters
| Open Poetry #46 |
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bending orchids into love letters |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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{~*~} The dark skies the winter storms seasons end and hide between velvet robes of darkness in a shadow of his whispering voice touch movement stillness how many stars have fallen since the "edge of air" where earth will round and skies pour you can not face midnights with time itself -- I do not feel the cold wind, nor fear the storm I wait. for how I feel touching you when I am out of touch left here, glancing round, above, beneath the oceans scene a temple of times rebirth me in one breath under fragile motion -- look how this changes me powerful between the void captive of wood the source of echoes they know no other waters in blue light he touched my face for a minute I, was lost laying again quiet in wordless thought falling snow still touches me -- softly remembering I belong to you for the last dance ~~**~~ |
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| © Copyright 2010 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
fine imagery and Romanticism! I am particularly fond of the ending: “falling snow still touches me -- softly remembering I belong to you for the last dance” much applause for this most interesting 'penning' ! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Lauren, you have given me goosebumps with this incredibly beautiful and poignant poem! And what a title! Love, Margherita |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Greeneyes - only a romantic heart could write a verse such as this one... BC |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You leave me just wanting to read again - so I did. Spell-binding, captivating .. I can't think of words right now to describe what I think of this poem. It lingers with me and I am going to go and just hold it close for a bit. A |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
very nicely done, my friend...very prettily done. Read it more than twice...still wanted more... j. |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Your style is never boring to read, so much thought rendered effortlessly. Jeff |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
very lovely, Lauren~~ I miss reading you and that of many others from the past. M |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Everything about this is amazing, from the presentation to the imagery. I love this and would be so happy if someone wrote like this for me. Great poetry here. |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
You paint a breathless image, Lauren. Well done. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Lady L~ My  sister, as always and ever you touch my heart. Reading you again is like that first breath of spring air...and I exhale slowly as I try to hold it all in for just a moment longer. Love this, love you. ~D |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It seems far too long since I last read one of your wonderful poems, Lauren... and I'm glad this met my eyes today.  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Interesting ramble, Lauren. I don't think it was as cohesive as it could have been (a tad too much time on presentation that took away from content), but the title is brilliant! Nice to read you again. C |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
simply exquisite! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
As always I love your imagery, form and presentation. Your poetry is always so ethereal, surreal and romantic. I especially love these lines: "for how I feel touching you when I am out of touch. a temple of times rebirth me in one breath. falling snow still touches me -- softly remembering I belong to you for the last dance" Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nicely wriiten |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Lovely flow of emotions from peaks to serenity. Excellent choice of words and phrases. I guess you won't be able to save the last dance for me?? Eric |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
Nicely done, your feelings are deep and romantic. I liked it. Billie Cullimore |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
It's not that I am eager to argue with Christopher (although he'd argue that) I particularly enjoyed the presentation. But I am biased toward a long lost poet that did those spacings so precisely that I found myself in the silences. So yes, I did love this, particularly the spaces between phrases and words--like watching snow falling slow. (I typed that like I KNOW, huh?)   |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I'll disagree with Christopher... :-) it was a pleasure to find this and to read again the unique way you have with words and presentation... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Lady L....your penswish is always different which makes it a pleasure to read..the depth of where you speak is a favorite place for me to spend time. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
"left here, glancing round, above, beneath the oceans scene a temple of times rebirth me in one breath" astoundingly beautiful! It's great to read your writing once again, Greeneyes. ~miscellanea |
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dollmaker Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 155mass dorchester |
i think this is very lovely. |
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Lamar Cole Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274 |
Very nice and thought provoking. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
personally I think the "spacing" puts heart and soul into the piece . . . much, much better than dots (. . . ) or dashes (---) as pauses. The spaces put the linger into the pause that visible marks cannot. Just never thought to do it that way, myself. You may have opened a worm hole here . . . Loved it (again) j. |
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rosepetals36 Member
since 2010-07-09
Posts 137Pa |
I SOOOOO love your writing I hope you write something soon!-- Used to be rosepetals25 :) I never know what to say when I reply to a poem, so ignore the lameness! |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
the last dance will be gods love and peace we shall shake all evil off this planet for eternity My spirit will rise |
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