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Open Poetry #46
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julia1094
New Member
since 2010-02-22
Posts 2


0 posted 2010-02-22 04:50 PM


Left. Right. Left. Right
Breathe In. Breathe Out
Left. Right. Left. Right
Breathe In. Breathe Out.
Left. Right. Left. Right
Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Iiiinnnn
Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Oooouuuutttt

Her feet pound the cold cement walk,
turning the corner on the third block.
The air is cool but she feels a fool.

The house where he lives is in her sight,
rushing back come the memories of that night.

During a time when the weather was hot,
a single gal she was definitely not.
For the boy down the street stole her heart,
and he knew how to break it right from the start.

Left. Right. Left. Right
Breathe In. Breathe Out
Left. Right. Left. Right
Breathe In. Breathe Out.
Left. Right. Left. Right

It's colder now as she reminisces,
about the strong arms of the boy she now misses.
Spending warm summer evenings hand in hand
frolicking about and building castles in the sand.

Those midsummer nights seem only a dream,
sitting on the porch eating strawberry ice cream.
Oh how she longs to forget, but will not just yet
that beautiful, seasonal, teenage love affair.

The streetlights turn on, as does her courage.
She is standing face to face
with the modest brick structure that will determine her fate.
A glow permeates through his bedroom window shutters,
thinking of what to say her heart flutters.

Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Iiiinnnn
Bbbbrrrreeeeaaaatttthhhheeee Oooouuuutttt

Her mouth opens and words fly out:
"Au revoir to you, my friend and foe.
Our aftermath brought me nothing but woe.
The relationship, in its prime, was nothing short of bliss,
but unfortunately amore, it is not you I shall miss."


© Copyright 2010 julia1094 - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2010-02-22 06:32 PM


Welcome to Pip, dear Julia.

I enjoyed reading your first entry and I think you rendered your mood very well. The story is closed with no regrets, your attitude is the right one, so there won't be more suffering.

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2010-02-22 10:12 PM


The teens are a lifetime of hit and miss
and hissing mitts...

but your descriptions are colorful, and
should be a forewarning of all that can
and reality says does go wrong in youth...

but your perseverance is actual, and real.

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email for a
Very Special Welcome!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
3 posted 2010-02-22 11:09 PM


Very Good. And I agree with the two smart ladies above. latearrival.
ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

4 posted 2010-02-23 08:46 AM


Welcome Julia!! I as well enjoyed this poem, I felt tense and releave for her. If only others could let go with ease, outstanding poem.


Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
5 posted 2010-02-23 08:50 AM


Amazing how true those last lines are.
An absolute truth I've come to learn through the years.
Well done. Very much.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6 posted 2010-02-23 01:30 PM


Yo dear Julia,

Sounds like one tough chick.  Your words work well, I like your poem.

Love Bobby

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
7 posted 2010-03-28 01:28 AM


The last stanza wraps up this poem nicely.  It is the best part.
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