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Cigaretes for Breakfast
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Cigaretes for Breakfast |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
Ever had Girl Scout cookies with water? That’s all, just water. Ever had candy bars for breakfast? Those with water too; candy bars with water. Ever drank salad dressing from the bottle, because it’s too much trouble to chop up salad? Ever had doughnuts and milk for supper? Ever had ice-cream with M-and-m for lunch? Ever had cigarettes for breakfast? I don’t personally know anyone who has, But I’ve read about some who supposedly have. They all turned into cigarettes themselves. Ever had pickles with vinegar on potatoes chips? That’s when potatoes have to go to the bathroom. Ever had chocolate on chocolate with chocolate on top and chocolate topping? Ever had chicken with eggs? Ever had sausage with bacon and ham and pork chops with bacon bits? Ever had hamburger with milk and butter and cheese with steak All at the same time? Ever had fish with salt? Ever had fish with water? Ever had fish with water with salt? Ever had water with salt” … and coffee with more salt? Ever had fish with salt with vinegar with whisky with chocolates with cigarettes? I don’t personally know that anybody has … It might harm the baby … Don’t tell Monzey. The poor girl, she’ll kill herself! More Girl Scout cookies, please? I just dashed this off a minute ago. The spelling check is complete. Hey, nobody's human! |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jaime Fradera - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Hey Jaime, where did you come from son? You are the bomb dot com brother! You’re just what this place needs. It saddens me how quiet and vacant This one proud place has become. Well so much for that. Okay, cookies and water? Not my gig, I prefer non fat Lactaid milk, right out of the half gallon thank you very much, but, I just love water, so, yeah why the heck not? Candy bars for breakfast? No, but in a rush I keep a box of GNC protein bars at work on days I’m too late to eat at home, and they might as well be a candy bar, well, a nutritious one at least. And yes, with water, good old municipal water from the city water works pumped straight to our school, through rusty ace cruddy plumbing to be sure, hmmm. Salad dressing from the bottle?? Man dude now you’re really pushing it. I guess if I had to, I would put the bottle above my mouth and let it waterfall into my salad hole. Oh heck, now I’ve got to try it out! Doughnuts and milk for supper? No. I’m not a big sweet guy, but I am a big food guy, I’m a chef instructor at a technical institute for petes sake, so if that’s all there was and I was hungry, hecks yeah Mother Goose I would tear those dough cakes up! Ice cream and M and M’s for lunch? No. But by the looks of things I wouldn’t be surprised if people I even knew ate junk like that 24/7. Cigs for breakfast? Oh yeah, in fact most of the time I don’t even chew them, I just inhale them, cough! Ack! Pickles and chips? That sounds like a British thing with all these salt and vinegar bags of chips that you find now at the store. I guess fish and chips wasn’t enough for them so they got us eating that chip chip cheerio and all that sort of rot now. And then, they call French fries, chips, and the French eat, French fries, with mayonnaise, what the…? Chocolate on more and more and more chocolate? Again, not big on the sugar part, more a savory type of guy. But I’ll tell you what, if you put a box of See’s candy in front of me, or a big old Halloween sack of trick or treats, then stand back, because I am going to eat a whole years worth in like four or seven minutes, tops. WooHoo! Chicken with eggs? Well, love them both, usually separate, but now their making poultry sausages, and plus, when we make chicken parmesan, we coat the chicken in flour, egg, and then bread crumbs, so in that case, yes, chicken and eggs are two of the most versatile foods ever discovered. Sausage, bacon, ham, chops, and what some more bacon on top all together? No, but heck yeah my little carnivore, I’m in, where’s the line!? Hamburger, butter, milk, and , cheese, and steak? Heck man its all going down the same meat hole isn’t it? I’m not as concerned about the combinations as much as the proper cooking methods. Fish with salt? Well why wouldn’t you? And pepper too while we’re at it. Fish with water? In soup yes, all the time. Can we say, bouillabaisse? Water and salt? Sure, when I get a sore throat or when I bite on the inside of my cheeks, from stuffing all these different, crazy food combos you’re making me shovel down my garbage disposal hole. Coffee and salt? I don’t think I have enough blood pressure medicine to try that one. One time though when I was late for an early morning fishing trip with the fellahs I stuck some coffee beans in my mustache and sipped on hot water, all the while throwing back an eye opener of tequila with some salt for good measure. Does that count? Okay now, fish, salt, vinegar, whisky, with chocolate and, cigarettes!? Well actually, only once. On the way back home from that fishing trip I was talking about earlier. Hey Jaime? You ever get sick on a fishing boat before? Here’s a tip for you from an old salt. It’s actually pretty simple to remember. Go to the back of the boat, Make sure, that the wind, is hitting, The back of your head, And just shoot for distance my friend. Makes you feel good right quick and in a hurry. Not to mention, its pretty good chum for the fishing! |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I used to have cigarettes for breakfast, but I never chewed them. I chewed chew once but swallowed it - that killed that nasty habit to be. My Mom used to give us backwards suppers sometimes when I was a kid. She would put bowls of ice cream on the table and say that we would get no dinner until we ate all our ice cream. She dyed mashed potatoes and pancakes green on St. Patrick's day - the pancakes were particularly disgusting because they were always doughy in the middle. Did I mention that my Mom wasn't (and isn't) a very good cook. I love peanut butter and liverwurst sandwiches, but please don't tell anyone - and I love pringles potato chips with ice cream between them. Again, that's our secret. I guess I have had chicken and eggs together - deviled eggs and chicken sandwiches. Love meat and cheese. And bread and butter. And cigarettes too, but I don't smoke any longer. You make me smile, Jaime. A |
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Dadygoose Member
since 2010-01-01
Posts 162A Communist country |
I'll do ANYTHING to make ali smile ... Just tell me and I'll do it:) J Hey, nobody's human! |
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