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A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

0 posted 2010-08-27 10:03 AM

Guys, all you are good at is scolding a cop,
Yes, some of your statements have meaning, indeed,
But words with no reasons won't get you on top,
You're giving your fellows a casual feed
Of rhyming curse words that you cast out loud,
So over-inflated and false-emphasized,
You try to be brusque, and you merge with the crowd,
Your ego is stained by the fact you are biased.

You crave for a rebel, so get it all planned,
Clean out the dump in your mind for a start!
Use word as a weapon when perfectly penned,
Withdrawn from the ultimate depth of your heart.

Guys, all you are good at is scolding a cop,
As they are subdued by the careless chief
For dubious joys of a desperate job.
They've sold their true and most cherished beliefs.
But what you are doing is always the same,
You're telling them what they are waiting to hear.
You know they quote you, you choke on your fame,
You don't even care if it sounds sincere.

You crave for a rebel, so get it all planned,
Clean out the dump in your mind for a start!
Use word as a weapon when perfectly penned,
Withdrawn from the ultimate depth of your heart.

The crowds keep rocking, applauding, exclaiming,
Quoting your words, lacking ones of their own,
If being a poet is what you are claiming,
Declare what really needs to be known!

You crave for a rebel, so get it all planned,
Clean out the dump in your mind for a start!
Use word as a weapon when perfectly penned,
Withdrawn from the ultimate depth of your heart.

Welcome to my website:
http://april-abd.bravehost.com/Homepage.htm

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

1 posted 2010-08-27 10:37 AM

Oh, of the mob and demagogues, and how the human race must go two steps forward, one step back (and so often two back, alas). And it applies not only to riots in the streets...

This is well-composed and thought provoking too. It reads like a lyric awaiting music, perhaps? (Especially if the refrain rhyme scheme is rerranged aabb as opposed to abab...?)

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

2 posted 2010-08-27 11:53 AM

Yes, these are lyrics, but I'm not going to change the rhyme scheme, it is good as it is.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

3 posted 2010-08-27 02:05 PM

Sometimes drawn in by your words is all it takes to make reading what you have to offer an excellent experience. Then you add in a welcomed surprise, you weave in and out of a so-called “standard” of rhyme encouraging the reader to step outside the box and enjoy your personality as well. Excellent write.

JL

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

4 posted 2010-08-28 03:44 AM

Thanks for replying

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