I thank dear God above for givin'
Me an angel down from Heaven.
My life is now so quite complete
Because I have a girl so sweet.

When I first saw you at the Wal-Mart store
I knew that you I would adore
And when you bent down in the aisle
You gave me a boner - and a smile.

Whenever my dog licks my face
I wish it was you in his place.
Your kisses fill me with such emotion
I feel like I could swim the ocean.

I'm happy as a Budweiser frog
Sitting peaceful on a log
And, if the day comes you are mine,
I know our love will be divine.

So please come to me and be my wife
And we will never have any strife.
You have my heart and I love you
Even more than my dog Blue...

Well, shucks and golly gee, my friends.
It seems this poem never ends.
I gotta restring this guitar
As soon as I can leave the bar.

This moonshine's shinin' real bright
Here on my face, not in the night.
Tobaccy? Here, son. Have a chaw
I swiped it from my ma-in-law.

She doesn't like me much, I fear.
Her reasons ain't exactly clear.
Since my young sis I did betrothe
She's now my ma and ma-in-law both!!

Ah, well, it's time to wash the truck
With panties I stole from Uncle Buck.
I must say he's a strange one, too.
It's in his jeans...when can one do?

Y'all come back whene'er ya can
Say howdy to this redneck man
Cause me and Blue will be right here
Ready to share some Southern cheer!