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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2010-01-22 11:20 PM

I stepped from out
the warmth of hearth
into the night precarious
from out the north
a biting wind
I faced uncloaked
temarious
I turned to face
from whence I came
I sought
but could not see
into the wind
I turned my face
aching to be free
the wind spit teeth
of cutting sleet
imbedding in my skin
I felt the ebbing
of my being
no spark remained within
no more I felt
the sting of sleet
no spark remained within

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2010-01-24 06:54 AM

Powerful musings! I felt the "sting of sleet".

Love,
Margherita

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

2 posted 2010-05-13 07:53 AM

`The wind spit teeth of cutting sleet` is one terrific line. I wish I had written it.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2010-05-13 12:23 PM

Intense writing.
Could definitely feel the chill!!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2010-05-13 12:43 PM

this held my breath...and felt the cold...wondrous words which blends and teaches both at the same time...

very nicely done.

whisperingwalt
Member

since 2010-04-29

Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada

5 posted 2010-05-13 01:44 PM

Brrrr...your words sent a chill down my spine..well done.

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

6 posted 2010-05-13 03:19 PM

Well rymed and truely felt, could maybe do with some full stops etc, but other than that a fine write thank you..

goldenrose.

Friendship is Love without his wings. Lord Byron.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2010-05-13 04:14 PM

And this was just in the last day or two, right?

The weather's been precarious
perhaps a bit vicarious,
as we smile in tune
with warm thoughts of June...
as winter winds nefarious

Y'know, Sir...this reminded me of Seymour.
And for that, I thank you.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-13-2010 08:33 PM).]

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