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Open Poetry #46
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Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana

0 posted 2010-01-20 01:07 PM


I will not resist and purge
Experience every urge
Feelings will soon surge
Upon the mental verge

I will not say goodbye
Holding through darkest night
Upon the wind to fly
Across the jealous sky

I will not brave static acts
Nothing spared which nothing lacks
Through time making tracks
Bending with broken back

I will not suffer any oppression
Defeat by the hand of depression
Once, an absolute obsession
Given to states of compression

I will not, I must not cease
Living on life’s shortened lease
I must ride that restless beast
There is time enough for peace

© Copyright 2010 Chalmette Guy - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2010-01-20 01:15 PM


You seem very determined, dear J.!  You give the impression of knowing how to ride the challenging waves.

There is that kind of inner peace that can accompany the most vivid and demanding actions ...

Very good work.

Love,
Margherita

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
2 posted 2010-01-20 01:56 PM


Thank you Margherita. I am nothing if not determined.
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2010-01-26 07:26 PM


It seems like you are trying different styles of poetry and I like what you are writing.  My only thought about this one is the second line of the second stanza seems out of line with the rest of the format of the rhyme scheme of your poem.  You do sound determined.  

I enjoy your writing.

Alison

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